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Funny satire stories about diamonds

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Car boot sale diamond worth 300K found in filthy ashtray!

Funny story: Car boot sale diamond worth 300K found in filthy ashtray!

Car boot sales can sometimes surprise people and in this particular instance, it certainly did! A piece of costume jewellery purchased at a car boot sale 30 years ago for a tenner has been found wrapped in sticky chewing gum paper in a filthy asht...

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Bodybuilder Squeezes Coal Between Butt Cheeks to Create Diamonds

Funny story: Bodybuilder Squeezes Coal Between Butt Cheeks to Create Diamonds

Forget buns of steel, champion bodybuilder Debi Lou Byrd has set a world precedent for any athlete: her buns can literally squeeze coal into diamonds. Debi's Diamonds are very small and not up to gem quality and so the diamond industry has barely...

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Scientists discover secrets of "twilight zone"

VANCOUVER, CANUCKS -- Scientists have often speculated (i. e., theorized) as to what might lie within Mother Earth's "twilight zone," the space between her epidermis, or "upper crust," and her dermis, or "lower mantle." They once believed (i. e., hyp...

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$50m giant blue diamond 'is paste' say auctioneers

Funny story: $50m giant blue diamond 'is paste' say auctioneers

South Africa - A huge and immensely rare 29.6 carat blue diamond found near Pretoria's Biltong Boerewors mine has turned out to be a fake according to auctioneers charged with selling it. Dubbed the Biltong Blue the massive sky-colored lump of car...

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Rihanna Debuts Her New 'Mouthy' Toy

Funny story: Rihanna Debuts Her New 'Mouthy' Toy

DETROIT - Rihanna told the audience at The Carburetor Coliseum that she had a surprise for them. And then she opened her mouth wide open and flashed her teeth. And right away the venue filled with a chorus of widespread oohs and aahs as they could...

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South African man smuggles diamonds in his belly and not on the "souls of his shoes!"

Funny story: South African man smuggles diamonds in his belly and not on the "souls of his shoes!"

A South African man was caught smuggling diamonds in his belly instead of listening to Paul Simon's classic, "Diamonds on the soles of her shoes," before trying to trick bright, shiny customs officers! He was caught attempting to leave South Afric...

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Rare yellow diamond 'is a fake'

Funny story: Rare yellow diamond 'is a fake'

Geneva - A plot to flog off a 'rare yellow diamond' has gone pear-shaped Interpol sources said today. Brilliant refraction by the 110.3 carat 'Sun Dance Squid' - said to resemble an octopus' testicles, er...tentacles! - makes the stone worth an e...

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Mockingbird Sings, So Woman Doesn't Get Diamond Ring

Funny story: Mockingbird Sings, So Woman Doesn't Get Diamond Ring

A woman in Montreal is upset with her husband due to his recent present to her of a mockingbird for her birthday. When she received the gift, her spouse promised Elaine Tucker that "it won't sing." He also told her that if it fulfilled this conditi...

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Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry appraised only to discover - all pieces are fake

After close examination of the late Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry a spokesman for her estate made this announcement, "I am embarrassed to tell you that we have had Ms. Taylor's jewelry appraised and were shocked to be told that every piece is 'fake'. Apparently, Ms. Taylor had to pawn her collection piece by piece over the past 5 or 6 years, in order to pay medical bills, staff wages etc. It...

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Lindsay Lohan Steals Diamond-Studded Socks

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Steals Diamond-Studded Socks

Lindsay Lohan is yet again in hot water, this time for stealing a $2,000 pair of black diamond-studded silk socks from Kinesha's Diamond Studding Studio on Rodeo Drive. Kinesha DeJuan Washington is the owner of the upscale diamond studding store and...

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Lindsay Lohan is a Thrill Seeker

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan is a Thrill Seeker

Lindsay "Thrill Seeker" Lohan just has to have her fingers in the cookie jar somehow. She's not content with getting a cookie and enjoying it. No, she has to get the cookie when her mother has told her "no more cookies". The cookies she gets without...

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Pink diamond bought for $29 million was purchased by an ex - Brit Tramp/Clochard!

Funny story: Pink diamond bought for $29 million was purchased by an ex - Brit Tramp/Clochard!

The world's most expensive diamond that was auctioned for a record price at Sotheby's was purchased by an ex-Brit tramp who moved to Paris and became a clochard, then moved to Switzerland and became a billionaire! This is an amazing story of rags...

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Diamonds Are A Kanye's Best Ill Grill Friend

Funny story: Diamonds Are A Kanye's Best Ill Grill Friend

HOLLYWOOD - In an attempt to further remind the world that he may just not be of this planet (originally), controversial rapper extraordinaire Kanye West has apparently seen fit to exchange his bottom set of teeth for a new and improved row of diamon...

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London Diamond Heist - DNA Places Duke of Edinburgh In The Frame

Funny story: London Diamond Heist - DNA Places Duke of Edinburgh In The Frame

Particles so small as to be invisible to the naked eye have placed Prince Philip very firmly at the head of the suspect list in last week's £40 million Bond Street robbery. When leading underworld figures were unable to finger the firm involved in...

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Mayfair Diamond Heist - Latest

Funny story: Mayfair Diamond Heist - Latest

Police today admitted that they are no nearer making arrests in the Graff £40 million Mayfair jewellery robbery than they were a week ago. Two men, wearing movie style sfx make-up entered the store, then produced guns and made off with a £40millio...

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World's largest diamond stolen by chimp

Funny story: World's largest diamond stolen by chimp

"The Phantom", the chimpanzee that has been the orchestrator of many recent jewellery heists, struck again last night in a daring raid in a famous New York jewellers. All that is known of "The Phantom" is that security footage outside of a jewelle...

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$108 Million Diamond Heist in Paris

Funny story: $108 Million Diamond Heist in Paris

La Ville-Lumiere, France - Armed robbers stormed the Paris branch of jeweller Harry Winston and waltzed out with a cool $108 million in diamonds yesterday. The robbers were variously described by witnesses as four men, two dressed as drag queens o...

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Eerie Silence at Zimbabwe Diamond Mine

Funny story: Eerie Silence at Zimbabwe Diamond Mine

An eerie yet pregnant silence permeates the scrub region locating the remote Chiadzwa diamond fields, apart from occasional bouts of gunfire, an odd anti-personnel mine explosion and the ensuing screams. Mr. Muti Fruiti was one of the first 'get r...

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