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Funny satire stories about Republicans

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Robert Mueller's Hollywood Access Moment

Funny story: Robert Mueller's Hollywood Access Moment

Robert Mueller, overheard talking to Billy Bush while exiting a Hollywood Access bus: “I’m moving on him, and I’m succeeding. I will try to fuck him. He’s married, you know—three times. But I’m moving on him very heavily. In fact, I took hi...

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Donald Trump Accidentally Buys a Thesaurus

CNN—President Trump, stopping off a Washington, D. C. Barnes and Noble for a pastry, saw a book in the bargain bin called a thesaurus and thought he’d buy it for Barron, who likes dinosaurs, especially sauropods. On driving back to the White Hous...

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John Bolton’s Hawkish Moustache Declares War on the Rest of His Face

Funny story: John Bolton’s Hawkish Moustache Declares War on the Rest of His Face

Washington, D. C.—On being appointed National Security Advisor to President Trump, the moustache’s first action was to declare war on the rest of his face. The moustache’s enemy to the south, his mouth, is apparently on military alert against the inv...

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With a Little Help from Putίn

Funny story: With a Little Help from Putίn

(With apologies to the Beatles, and with sympathy for Melania) What would you do if I screwed a porn star? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your eyes and I’ll tweet something wrong And I’ll try not to lie through my teeth. Oh, I get by with a little help from Putίn Mmm, I can lie with a little help from my friends Mmm, I’m going to try with a little help from Russians...

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Trump Will Send Video of Answers to Mueller's Questions-The Ones Trump THINKS He Should Ask

Funny story: Trump Will Send Video of Answers to Mueller's Questions-The Ones Trump THINKS He Should Ask

Washington, DC Republicans got Donald Trump to agree not to personally testify before Mueller. Knowing Trump's propensity to say the wrong thing, Republicans convinced Trump that he can put his best foot forward in a video, without having to actually...

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Donald Trump Comes Out as a Cisgender Anti-inclusive Racist-fluid Bi-phobic Trans-Republican

Funny story: Donald Trump Comes Out as a Cisgender Anti-inclusive Racist-fluid Bi-phobic Trans-Republican

Washington, D.C.--President Trump announced this week, at a press conference, "My proper pronouns are 'I, I,' and 'I' and 'me, me,' and me,'" and then came out, to the waiting press corps and the world, as a "Cisgender Anti-inclusive Racist-fluid Bi-...

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Republicans suggest genocide could reduce tooth decay

Funny story: Republicans suggest genocide could reduce tooth decay

Washington DC. The Republican Party have announced their policies for the coming year, and most of them are the same as ever - cut taxes, cut spending, give money to the rich. However, one new policy has raised eyebrows. It is based on recent...

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Donald Trump Loses It at Stable Genius Award Ceremony

Funny story: Donald Trump Loses It at Stable Genius Award Ceremony

Palm Beach, FL--At his Mar-a-Lago Resort Donald Trump was awarded the Stable Genius Award, by its former recipient, Sarah Palin, at a ceremony attended by hundreds of Trump supporters who were there, purportedly, to Make America Smart Again. On re...

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Alabama Says It Will Secede from the Union Unless Roy Moore Is Seated in the Senate

Funny story: Alabama Says It Will Secede from the Union Unless Roy Moore Is Seated in the Senate

Montgomery, AL--Gov. Kay Ivey announced, after Judge Roy Moore's loss to Democrat Doug Jones, that unless Moore is seated in the Senate, despite his electoral loss to Jones, Alabama will secede from the Union, and expects other southern states to fol...

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Leaked transcript from secret meeting between Donald Trump & Roy Moore

Funny story: Leaked transcript from secret meeting between Donald Trump & Roy Moore

Donald Trump: "You're going to do amazing things for the great state of Alabama, Roy. Now get out there and grab em by the pussy!" Roy Moore: "Oh I get it now! You meant it as an expression! Like 'go get em' or 'break a leg.' This damn Fake News i...

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Republicans, Jubilant Over Tax Win, Draft New Bill Allowing Only Large Donors to Vote

Funny story: Republicans, Jubilant Over Tax Win, Draft New Bill Allowing Only Large Donors to Vote

Washington - Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, flush with success after the House narrowly approved the tax cut bill, a version of which also closely passed in the Senate last night, is said to be considering even more unpopular initiatives in an attem...

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Congress Considers a Ban on the Trophy Hunting of Sexual Predators

Funny story: Congress Considers a Ban on the Trophy Hunting of Sexual Predators

WASHINGTON, DC--Two representatives today co-sponsored a new Bill in Congress that would ban, in the United States, the trophy hunting of sexual predators. The bipartisan co-sponsors, Rep. John Conyers from Michigan and Rep. Blake Farenthold from Te...

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Alabamians Vote in Alleged Serial Killer Judge Roger Ray Morris as Their New Senator

Funny story: Alabamians Vote in Alleged Serial Killer Judge Roger Ray Morris as Their New Senator

AL--Alleged serial killer Judge Roger Ray Morris, who maintains the nine bodies buried in his basement were already there when he moved in, won an election on Tuesday against Democrat Doug Jones. Morris, who is out on bail pending an investigation...

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Roy Moore: An Entire Nation Bemoans Media Attack on Visionary, Insightful Leader

Funny story: Roy Moore: An Entire Nation Bemoans Media Attack on Visionary, Insightful Leader

Mobile, Alabama - Republican voters, politicians and commentators in Alabama and across the country are stunned and disappointed by the Washington Post story detailing possible sexual abuse by Senate candidate Roy Moore of a young teenager 40 years a...

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Everyone Safe After Florida Man Guns Down Intruders

Funny story: Everyone Safe After Florida Man Guns Down Intruders

A Florida man and his family are safe, thanks to his quick thinking, and gunning down intruders on his front stoop. "I heard a knock at the door," says Robert, a thirty six year old white male from Tampa. "I grabbed my AR33 assault rifle and went...

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Gun Nut Layme DeRierre Says the Real Victim in the Las Vegas Mass Shooting Was the Much-maligned AR-15 Assault Rifle

Fairfax, VA--Layme DeRierre, CEO and Executive Vice President of the Gun Nut's Lobby, today said that the true victim of the mass shooting in Las Vegas was the AR-15 assault rifle used to kill over fifty people, in what is now the largest mass shooti...

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"I Stand By My President"

Funny story: "I Stand By My President"

Hypothetical: President Trump calls for the processing and imprisoning of 3 million illegal immigrants in internment camps in the United States. How will his fellow Republicans respond? Paul Ryan: "I idea of imprisoning 3 million immigrants--le...

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The politics of survival in Ghost Town, N.J., is existential, brutal and sad!

Funny story: The politics of survival in Ghost Town, N.J., is existential, brutal and sad!

GHOST TOWN, N.J. - "Mayor, Fat Cat Fringo wants to know if you've had the city water crew run the city water lines to his underground casino on the north side yet." I walked into the mayor's office and he was finagling around with one of those Rub...

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