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Funny satire stories about Portland

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Funny story: Portland's homeless to be offered a hand up, instead of a handout

Portland's homeless to be offered a hand up, instead of a handout

PORTLAND, ME--Tired of seeing men and women sitting on their asses, peeing on the streets, and pestering hardworking citizens for "spare" change, officials of Portland, Maine, have decided to put the bums to work. City officials have agreed to fun...
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Funny story: Trashlandia: Portlanders Embark to Found New Country on Floating Garbage

Trashlandia: Portlanders Embark to Found New Country on Floating Garbage

Not willing to sit by and see what happens under a Trump presidency, a hearty group of 55 pilgrims has already left Portland, Oregon with the first barge to start a new nation. Their destination, the huge and elusive Great Pacific Garbage Patch.
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Funny story: Crisis in the Clinton Campaign

Crisis in the Clinton Campaign

As the Clinton campaign prepares to go to Portland, Oregon in 3 weeks it is in serious negotiations with the Oregon event organizers. A crisis has emerged over the mayonnaise brand that will be used in potato salad at the event. It turns out t...
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Funny story: The Portland Trailblazers Are Sitting On Top of The NBA With A 23-5 Record

The Portland Trailblazers Are Sitting On Top of The NBA With A 23-5 Record

PORTLAND, Oregon - The Moda Center, home of the league leading Portland Trailblazers has been quite a lively place lately. The Portland fans are some of the loudest in the entire NBA. Many visiting sportswriters say that they have to use earplu...
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Funny story: Portland Man Discovers Homelessness Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

Portland Man Discovers Homelessness Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

After being forced from his home by a judge-issued protective order, Portland local, Brian Molnar had no choice but to live in his Subaru Justy. Coming from a city so rife with entertaining but hapless dregs, Molnar suspected the stint would be a nov...
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Funny story: Adidas Creates Computerized 'Smart Shoe'

Adidas Creates Computerized 'Smart Shoe'

PORTLAND, Ore. - Adidas says it has created the world's first "smart shoe" by mating it with a computer chip so it will be able to give valuable information to person wearing it.
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Funny story: Woman Marries Horse Illegally

Woman Marries Horse Illegally

Portland, ME - A lonely woman ended her singledom today. "Today, I married my best friend and , my horse, Spirited Lover. Boy does he live...
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Breaking News...

Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy

In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.
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