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Professional Man Poops in His Pants at Work

Our emergency news reporting team rushed to the home of Mr. Robert Semen, a mechanical engineer at a local factory, last Tuesday, only to find out that he left work early because he pooped in his pants. "I started feeling ill around 11:30 am, and...

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Xenomorph rejected from another job, again

Funny story: Xenomorph rejected from another job, again

Diane Smith, a Xenomorph, best known for a fleeting appearance in the Alien: Resolution film has spoken about being rejected for another job. The eight foot tall alien, who bleeds acid, and has an unfortunate habit of incubating her offspring with...

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Oklahoma Man Dies While Attempting to Kill Time

Funny story: Oklahoma Man Dies While Attempting to Kill Time

Brent Hargrave of Tulsa, Oklahoma, was attempting to kill time at his boring office job when time rallied and, in a valiant show of self-defense, slayed the project manager. “I don't think he even saw it coming,” said Hargrave's former co-worker,...

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Hunter-Gatherer Adjusts Well to Office Work, Wins Employee of the Month

Funny story: Hunter-Gatherer Adjusts Well to Office Work, Wins Employee of the Month

Editor's Note: Some so-called Brits are claiming this fake news story is a fake fake news story, due to its American English and colloquialisms, not to mention a total ignorance of the English countryside. Nothing could be further from the truth. It'...

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Boss who expects to always get his own way cannot understand why people hate him

Funny story: Boss who expects to always get his own way cannot understand why people hate him

In business news in Swanage (other medium sized places are available) a Mr Richard Potato does not understand why people in the office think he is a bit of a prick. The underwhelming figure of Mr Potato 52, said 'I know that the rest of the office...

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Officer workers to stage strike in Plymouth in protest against water cooler restrictions

Angry office workers from Forresters Business Park are set to go on strike this Friday in protest at restricted water cooler usage at their building. The one-day strike on March 8 is the first of a programme of action by the Public and Commercial...

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Stock photo model admits "My life isn't that exciting"

Funny story: Stock photo model admits "My life isn't that exciting"

On the face of it 35yr old Melinda Smith seems to lead an exciting life, High level business meetings, Hang-gliding, mountaineering while inside the house she seems to be able to pull off ten person dinner parties with ease all while juggling the dem...

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Study finds "referring to yourself in third person" still most reliable way to get ahead in career

Funny story: Study finds "referring to yourself in third person" still most reliable way to get ahead in career

A recent scientific study has found that one of the most effective ways of getting a raise or promotion in work is to "constantly refer to yourself in the third person". Scientists believe this method can re-enforce in other people's mind that y...

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7 Average Joes that are Having a Way Worse Day at Work than You Are

Right now you're probably sitting on your comfy leather chair in front of your computer, IN YOUR WORKPLACE, thinking how much you hate your job. Well stop feeling sorry for yourself because there are numerous people around the world who are sensationally screwed. Just shut up and suck it up. It's obvious that you're not going to get anything done today so I suggest you keep reading. 7 Taxi driv...

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Turning the Tables

Funny story: Turning the Tables

Hauled in before his Boss John Witt realised he was in trouble, but Witt had more than enough up his sleeve. 'You are being sacked for doing nothing' he was told. 'You have nothing to complain about, then!' replied Witt. 'I'm not complaining about nothing, I'm complaining about you doing nothing' came the response. Witt considered for a moment. 'I've been doing my job for two years and...

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Office worker wishes he was sat on "way cooler table" behind him

Funny story: Office worker wishes he was sat on "way cooler table" behind him

Office worker Richard Manganiello reported to sources close to him last Friday of his wish to be sat with the people on the table behind him at his job. Claiming that it was a "way cooler table" than where he currently was placed. Manganiello w...

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Charge Of the Martian Brigade

Funny story: Charge Of the Martian Brigade

Violence has erupted in Nestle Presents New Uganda. Dozens of angry UFO enthusiasts have seized control of the Central Bank proclaiming "Martian Law". Authorities have mobilized the countries' four tanks and half a helicopter in an attempt to def...

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Local Worker Says Man In Next Cube Talks Loud - Worried About Disease

Funny story: Local Worker Says Man In Next Cube Talks Loud - Worried About Disease

Office Park, NJ (New York Times) - Christina Worple, 38, an accountant who works in a local office building, says the person who sits in the cubicle next to her talks very loudly and often makes personal noises that she can hear clearly. Ms. Worpl...

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Commuters flee rush-hour file

Passengers fled on to tracks after a box file burst open on a train during rush hour yesterday in central London. The file contained dozens of lengthy, boring business reports and detailed minutes of interminable committee meetings. Some passen...

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Baltimore Does Away With "Casual Friday"

Funny story: Baltimore Does Away With "Casual Friday"

BALTIMORE - Reports coming out of the Maryland city that is famous for its orioles have a lot of office workers quite upset and literally fit to be tied. The city council has decided to do away with the age old tradition of Casual Friday, in which...

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Office "Funny Guy" Can't Understand Why Letterman Hasn't Called

Funny story: Office "Funny Guy" Can't Understand Why Letterman Hasn't Called

Parsippany, NJ - If you're a small business owner living in northern New Jersey and have ever required technical support, there's a good chance that you have come across Mr. James Childress. James is a longtime Customer Service Representative at Pars...

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10 Things To Do Whilst Waiting For a Slow Computer

Funny story: 10 Things To Do Whilst Waiting For a Slow Computer

Here, in the latest in his series "10 Things to Do," Nigel St. Faversham explores the options available to those of us struggling with a slow computer. Whether due simply to a full memory, or corrupted to oblivion with countless tics and viruses from the internet, a quick run-through our Top Ten will soon restore your love affair with the laptop, or at the very least keep that stroke at bay for ju...

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Recruitment Consultants Outnumber All Other Workers.

Funny story: Recruitment Consultants Outnumber All Other Workers.

The number of recruitment consultants has increased exponentially over the last six months say analysts at NecroManPower Ltd. It has got to the extent that there are five recruitment consultants to every other job in the UK. The majority of the p...

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Breaking news…

Ex-CIA John Brennan Heads Up New Militant Group

Emulating his hero Robespierre, a pissed-off Brennan leads a new faction of Contra-Deplorables. The goal is to execute via guillotine at CIA HQ all those who disagree with him.
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