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Funny satire stories about Language

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Your Language Lesson of the Week

This week, the difference between 'continuously' and 'continually'. 'Continually' means occuring again and again, as in: "He irritated her continually day after day. She considered a divorce. Was it worth the time and effort to cultivate a relationship that seemed to be doomed to failure? She couldn't decide." 'Continuously' means occuring without a break, as in: "He irritated her continuou...

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German Teens Condemn 'unfair' English Exam in Petition

Funny story: German Teens Condemn 'unfair' English Exam in Petition

Grappling with Brexit in one English exam proved too much for more than 30,000 German school students, who are protesting in an online petition. About 31,000 students sat the English exam in the south-west German state of Baden-Württemberg but the pe...

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Heathen Teens Struggle to Find Appropriate Expressions of Shock and Dismay

Funny story: Heathen Teens Struggle to Find Appropriate Expressions of Shock and Dismay

Heathen teens, like seventeen-year-old Portia Johnson of Nashville, Tennessee, are increasingly struggling to find appropriate expressions of shock and dismay since the standard go-tos, like “Oh my God!” and even “Holy shit!” just don't align with th...

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French speaking Canada bans Welsh Rarebits!

Funny story: French speaking Canada bans Welsh Rarebits!

People residing in French Canadian speaking areas have been told never to use the phrase "Welsh Rarebit" again! It has been removed from all restaurant menus, dictionaries, school books, the internet, Google and anywhere else! The French Canadian...

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Supreme court to hear "Move the N in Wednesday to before the D" argument

Funny story: Supreme court to hear "Move the N in Wednesday to before the D" argument

The seemingly interminable battle to have the letter N in Wednesday move to its more appropriate position before the D will now go to the Supreme Court. this has angered many in Britain's Parliament who have suggested sanctions against the United St...

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Tweason Becomes 2017 Most Popular Word

Funny story: Tweason Becomes 2017 Most Popular Word

Tis the season for tweason. Donald Trump, who has already changed the game in U.S. presidential politics, is now engaging in acts that lead to new words. Trump's latest tweets have coined the new word "tweason", which means the act by a U.S. public figure to disparage America and to embrace a foe by a tweet. Tweason has already become the most popular new word of 2017. Trump's recent...

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No Need for Tenses?

Funny story: No Need for Tenses?

While it is commonly acknowledged by physicists that time is an illusion, people continue to ignore this by using the past tense and the future tense in their speech. One person who acknowledges and promotes this time/space continuum fact is Billy P...

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"You Cluckin' What, Mate?" Aussie Boffins Crack Chicken Chatter

Australian researchers have discovered that chickens are able to communicate in deep and meaningful ways. They have concluded that chickens can effectively talk to each other. Two researchers at City University in New South Wales, studied chickens...

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Kelly Carlin Revises George Carlin's List of Words You Can't Say on TV

Funny story: Kelly Carlin Revises George Carlin's List of Words You Can't Say on TV

DAYTON, OH - George Carlin's only daughter, Kelly Carlin, has updated her father's famous list of the "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television". The first list that George Carlin made was presented in his 1972 monologue "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television". The words are: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. Kelly Carlin's revised list includes 42 words yo...

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Act 666, Scene 9/11: FBI cryptonyms reveal hidden agenda

Funny story: Act 666, Scene 9/11: FBI cryptonyms reveal hidden agenda

QM-NewsCorpse stringers have hacked into the Feds' data base and decoded anagram files of leading White House names. The following is a selection of latest codes which the Bureau uses in secret communications. If your name isn't on the list it's because probably you aren't important enough - or have already slipped the Director a fat wedge of greenbacks: Lynch** harlot in mid-oral = Hil...

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Election Thoughts with Reverend W A Spooner

Funny story: Election Thoughts with Reverend W A Spooner

Mood Gorning, I tant to walk today about the forthcoming General Election, which is only wee threeks away and is constantly deing biscussed in all the marious vedia. Some of you might fe beeling a fittle led up of all the telection alk and may creel like frying out: "I stan't cand many ore of this! I wish I fas war away hom frere." To all of you I say: "I hear you and I understand". It al...

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Online commenter floors all, wins debate with definition of they're, there, and their

Funny story: Online commenter floors all, wins debate with definition of they're, there, and their

In what could easily have descended into a free for all, name calling, I'm right, you're wrong thread in the comment section of a Fox News story about evolution, user dEEzNutZ1979 stopped everyone dead in their tracks by responding to user GodGunzAnd...

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You Alright? : Illegal To Repeat

Funny story: You Alright? : Illegal To Repeat

The greeting "you alright?" has officially been made an illegal response to "you alright?" The response, which has been widely accepted by morons across the country for decades, has now been made an illegal response because it makes no sense due...

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"Sorry" Removed From The Dictionary

Funny story: "Sorry" Removed From The Dictionary

The word sorry has become the first word to be removed from the English Oxford Dictionary because it has lost all of its meaning. With politicians, pupils, and perverted next-door neighbours using that word all too often, that word has now been t...

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ABC: What If We'd Used A Different Song?

Funny story: ABC: What If We'd Used A Different Song?

It is usually the first thing we learn as infants about written communications: the letters A, B and C. In fact we refer to the entire alphabet as "the ABCs." And all because of that song. A must-learn for every toddler. I of course can't write the melody here, but we all know how it goes: "A B C D E F G.... H I J K LMNOP... Q R S... T U V... W.. X... Y and Z. Now I know my ABCs, next time won't...

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A 3-Year-Old Portuguese Toddler Can Speak 29 Different Languages Fluently

Funny story: A 3-Year-Old Portuguese Toddler Can Speak 29 Different Languages Fluently

MIRANDELA, Portugal - The Portuguese Children's Agency of Mirandela has just discovered what it is calling the most amazing 3-year-old in the world. Enrique Portello with the PCA stated that the young boy is named Alfredo Bernardo Zeferino and he...

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There's more than one way to skin a cat: The Spoof tests some English proverbs and sayings

Funny story: There's more than one way to skin a cat: The Spoof tests some English proverbs and sayings

Tiddles lies shivering in front of the fire, swathed in bandages and looking at me accusingly while I await the knock on the door. The vet said he was calling the RSPCA after what I had done and those interfering busybodies will be here soon. It was all in the name of a good cause, I tell Tiddles, but he still looks at me in that way and refuses to purr. What is his problem? Our verdict: I...

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Russia To Rename Moscow's Sheremetyevo Airport The Comrade Edward Snowden Commemorative Airport

Funny story: Russia To Rename Moscow's Sheremetyevo Airport The Comrade Edward Snowden Commemorative Airport

NEW YORK CITY - National Focus Magazine is reporting that Edward Snowden has suddenly become one of the most popular non-Russian individuals in the entire country of Russia. Snowden, who is the star of the notorious NSA Scandal, spoke with a repor...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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