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Gary Johnson to Request Recount of World Leaders He Respects

Washington - Libertarian Presidential Candidate Gary Johnson, who garnered over 3 percent of the vote nationally, has requested a recount of the total number of world leaders he respects. "My original count was zero, but since the question was ask...

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Trump Considers Dropping Out of Race to Support Johnson

Funny story: Trump Considers Dropping Out of Race to Support Johnson

New York, NY - As the number of Republican leaders abandoning GOP nominee Donald J. Trump increases, Trump is considering exiting the presidential race and throwing his full support and resources behind Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson. The co...

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Latest Survey Shows Both Trump and Hillary Losing to Independent Candidates

Funny story: Latest Survey Shows Both Trump and Hillary Losing to Independent Candidates

Washington, DC According to the latest polls for the U.S. 2016 Presidential Election, Republican and Democratic candidates Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton had canceled each other out and now nobody wants them for President. Spoke a supporter: "Af...

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North Korean Dictator Fires PR Man

Funny story: North Korean Dictator Fires PR Man

Pynongyang, North Korea Kim Jong-Un, North Korean dictator REALLY knows how to put the "dic" in dictator. Reports are that Kim is very pissed at his public relations man for not getting him more press space in world newspapers. The PR man exp...

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Questions For Gary Johnson

1. Aleppo is (a) Irish slang for a leprechaun, (b) a cross between a hippo and a leopard, (c) a lesbian hippo. 2. Manchuria is (a) a curious man, (b) an original manuscript in Spanish about a deluded old man tilting at windmills, (c) a Mexican dish of spicy food, made from roadkill. 3. Brexit is (a) shorthand for "you break it you buy it," (b) shorthand for the the title of a 1964 book by Hu...

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Presidential Debate Commission will lower percentage rule in exchange for 400 million dollar pallet

Funny story: Presidential Debate Commission will lower percentage rule in exchange for 400 million dollar pallet

Candidates joining the presidential debates this fall must have at least 15% public support based on polling via ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, and NBC. Earlier this month, Trump at 36% and Clinton at 44% easily made the cut, whereas Gary Johnson was at 10 p...

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Libertarian National Convention took Place in your basement while you were out shopping

Gary Johnson, alleged Libertarian Presidential Candidate, used the key under your doormat to enter your basement while you were out buying some batteries from Radio Shack to hold his national convention. "We didn't really need a lot of space, si...

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Embarrassed: RNC Admits Embryonic Stem Cell Effort to Clone Reagan

Funny story: Embarrassed: RNC Admits Embryonic Stem Cell Effort to Clone Reagan

WASHINGTON DC (AP) In a press release issued late last night, the Republican National Committee confirmed rumors that it had been engaged in a covert embryonic stem cell research effort. According to the press release, the goal of the secret project...

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Breaking news…

Ex-CIA John Brennan Heads Up New Militant Group

Emulating his hero Robespierre, a pissed-off Brennan leads a new faction of Contra-Deplorables. The goal is to execute via guillotine at CIA HQ all those who disagree with him.
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