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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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The Secret England Footballer: Croatia and Cretinous Decisions. I told you so.

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Croatia and Cretinous Decisions. I told you so.

You know I told you so. It's taken a day or two for me to get over my anger, but now I feel free to vent my spleen. Forget Gareth's M&S waistcoat, the penalty win over Columbia, slab head Maguire's goal, getting us to the semi-final and all th...

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England Still Have Everything To Play For

Funny story: England Still Have Everything To Play For

England manager Gareth Southgate knows that he has a tricky job on his hands to raise his troops for tomorrow's game with Belgium, but has buoyed them with the rallying call that: Everything is still to play for - except for the World Cup, that...

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American Guy Tries to Act Like He Knows A Lot About Soccer

Funny story: American Guy Tries to Act Like He Knows A Lot About Soccer

An American guy who knows nothing about soccer got way too into the World Cup match between England and Croatia in an effort to seem cool and worldly to his dumb friends. He even used the word "gutted" to describe his feelings after the loss, know...

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Croatian Nationals Face Expulsion From UK In Wake Of England World Cup Defeat

Funny story: Croatian Nationals Face Expulsion From UK In Wake Of England World Cup Defeat

There was a strange lull and an eerie silence over the country on Thursday morning as England and its people tried to come to terms with the fact that the England football team were not going to win the World Cup. Again. Gareth Southgate's men wer...

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BBC Sports Commentator Sets Precedent by Using the Word "Unprecedented"

Funny story: BBC Sports Commentator Sets Precedent by Using the Word "Unprecedented"

Football fans were stunned and amazed while watching coverage of England vs. Colombia when commentator Simon Brotherton deliberately used the word "unprecedented". The BBC switchboard and Twitter account were overwhelmed by the response, including d...

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Sexism In Ladies Football Accusations

Funny story: Sexism In Ladies Football Accusations

Women who are also football fans are up in arms this morning at what they call the injustice of a team's description of themselves. They are angry that men's football teams make no 'gender distinction', and want to know why it is that women's tea...

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The Secret England Footballer: The Swedes and Me Looking Like a Turnip

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: The Swedes and Me Looking Like a Turnip

"Lack of egos" in this England team is apparently what people are saying. "Esprit de corps" and lack of egos is exactly right and that's what's wrong with this team. Nobody has the balls to stand up to "Mr. Southgate" and tell him where he's going wr...

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Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Funny story: Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Walter Klondyke Smith, 56, has explained to us that he is desperately trying to think of a quiet pub he can go to on Wednesday and Sunday night when if all goes to plan some multi-millionaires will be kicking a ball around a field thousands of miles...

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World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

Funny story: World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

A series of events has plunged the World Cup in Russia into unprecendented chaos. An instruction to referees to punish players for clear serious infringements of the rules with yellow and red cards has resulted in previously overlooked fouls being...

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Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

Funny story: Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

The World Cup is well into its final stages, and, as well as the question over its eventual winners, fans are also speculating as to who might win the Golden Boot, the accolade of being the tournament's highest scorer. Belgium eliminated Brazil la...

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Heatwave Causes Mass Delusions

Funny story: Heatwave Causes Mass Delusions

For those of us basking in the recent heatwave taking care with the sun cream, there are others who are not being so careful and are risking serious heatstroke. The NHS has reported a massive increase in people who believe that England have just w...

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The Secret England Footballer: Colombia Pays the Penalty - Eventually

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Colombia Pays the Penalty - Eventually

I'm penalty taker. Yes, I bloody am, really. Except for last night that is, thanks to that bastard "Mr. Southgate". I promise you, I am going to stick one on him soon. Look at it this way. There I am a seasoned professional among all these pretty...

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Neymar Offered 'Role' In EastEnders

Funny story: Neymar Offered 'Role' In EastEnders

Brazilian footballer Neymar has been wowing the crowds at the World Cup in Russia with some stunning performances, and 2 goals so far, but the fans are not the only people the 26-year-old has been impressing. Executives at the BBC have been meetin...

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Brexit Latest: FA Premier League 2018-19 Season to End Early

Funny story: Brexit Latest: FA Premier League 2018-19 Season to End Early

FA blazers announced today that the 2018-19 Premier League season would be cut short and would end on 29th March 2019 when the United Kingdom leaves the European Union. This is the result of those football fans who voted en masse to leave the Euro...

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The Secret England Footballer: Belgium Gone, Bring on Colombia

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Belgium Gone, Bring on Colombia

Well, I've been basking in the glorious defeat that was the Belgium match, just like the rest of the lads. One thing is spoiling it. No, that's not right...two things are spoiling it...no booze and no birds. I ask you. "Mr. Southgate" still wouldn't...

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Man Stubs Toe

Funny story: Man Stubs Toe

A man in the Cambodian second-city of Battambang was in agony on Saturday evening after he stubbed his toe. The incident happened around 10:13pm as Moys Kenwood watched the World Cup match between France and Argentina. Excited after the second Fre...

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Football-England Loses and Wins at the Same Time

Funny story: Football-England Loses and Wins at the Same Time

In a classic twist similar to the end of the film" Inception", the England team have simultaneously won and lost a match to Belgium. By losing to the pus-filled pimple on the face of the Earth that is Belgium, England have actually won an easier r...

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Hitler Spinning In His Grave

Funny story: Hitler Spinning In His Grave

There was trouble in Germany last night, after the national football team crashed disastrously out of the World Cup, losing 2-0 to South Korea, a result that sent shockwaves throughout the footballing world. Those shockwaves were so powerful, they...

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The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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