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How to Write the Perfect Resume

STEP #1) COMPOSE A COVER LETTER THAT DISPLAYS YOUR INTEREST IN THE POSITION AS WELL AS YOUR PROFESSIONALISM. (Also, do not forget to show all due respect to the Management Office that does the hiring.) Dear Fuckers, I was wiping my ass with a piece of newspaper last night, and I saw that your company currently has a position available for a “Certified Technical Programming Assistant Engine...

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Bungling Birmingham burglar blows burglary; he forgot to ask for his CV!

Funny story: Bungling Birmingham burglar blows burglary; he forgot to ask for his CV!

Now in the days of sophisticated technology, hacking computers, CCTV cameras, smartphones, etc. A Birmingham (UK) bungling burglar wins first prize in being a total technological "dickhead!" The gentleman applied for a job at a betting shop in Bir...

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Making the "Perfect CV"

Are you fed up of getting rejected again and again by companies because your resume or Curriculum Vitae fails you? Well it is time to stop worrying! It is time to realize that the content in your CV does not depend on what you have done with your brains but what you have done with an organ much below it! After running a secret operation on big companies in the consulting, marketing, finance an...

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Men encouraged to include threesomes on their CVs

Funny story: Men encouraged to include threesomes on their CVs

Bosses are urging male applicants to include details of participation in threesomes with two women, on their curricula vitae on the grounds that there is no greater achievement for a man. "We like our applicants to graduate with first class honour...

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Facebook Profiles to Replace CVs by 2010

Funny story: Facebook Profiles to Replace CVs by 2010

In its continuing bid to become more relevant to young people, the Government announced controversial new recruitment measures today. From 2010, applicants for any UK job vacancy will be required to submit a copy of their Facebook profile to potentia...

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Breaking news…

Fake Friend

Surprise, surprise! Apparently, Omarosa was Trump’s fake friend. This is definitely sad.
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