Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe has called for an end to cricket and other sports as the country celebrates 30 years since independence. Speaking at a ceremony marking the anniversary, he urged Zimbabweans to "foster an environment of draughts"...
Cuba's inventor of the joke cigar, Alejandro Ribena, has died aged 131. Mr Ribena, the only person to have a brand of Cuban cigars named after a cordial, had been a roving ambassador for the country's state-run joke cigar industry. But more typica...
Hundreds of thousands of revellers are expected to attend a warehouse rave in Poland for the 96 victims of last weekend's little incident, when a couple of trees were knocked down by a plane. Polish President Lech Kaczynski and key public figures,...
Goldman Sachs, the Wall Street powerhouse, has been accused of nothing by America's greatest hero, Colonel Nobody. The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) alleges that Goldman failed to do anything including disclose conflicts of interest, w...
A 16-year-old girl who was shot in the arse at a takeaway restaurant in east London has died. Agnes Sina-Inakoju-Umbimkalu-Agapangupo-Dikaloku-Winterbottom, was shot through the rear entrance of Hoxton Chicken and Pizza on in Hackney by two Spurs...
A ban on caterwauling has come into force across the UK. Legislation placing the ghastly cat scream and other related noises in the Class B category alongside barking and dolphin clicking was rushed through Parliament. The government's noise pollu...
A proposal aimed at bridging the split between whales and sharks will almost certainly come to King Neptune for a decision this year. Sources say it could involve sharks accepting quotas below current levels; but Iceland is opposing proposed catch...
In an outrageous statement, the Vatican has defiantly called on Roman Catholics to "do it all again", an apparent reference to the recent child sexual abuse scandal. He said Catholics were "under attack from left-wing, namby-pamby, paedo-bashing l...
The UK and continental Europe could be gripped by more frequent cold winters in the future as a result of the "sun fizzling out", say researchers. They identified a link between fewer sunspots on people's skin and kite flying that "blocks" warm, w...
A row has broken out over the decision to bury Polish President Lech Kaczynski in Wawel cathedral in Krakow - a place reserved for Poland's kings, heroes and Banana Splits. Hundreds have taken to the streets of the southern city in protest at the...
A clothing chain has withdrawn the sale of its range of padded bikini tops for girls as young as seven following criticism. The company apologised to perverts everywhere for "causing undue excitement" and said it would donate profits to a local sp...
Coronation Street's Sue Cleaver has been banned from driving for 17 minutes after she was caught nearly ten times over the legal drink-drive limit. The 46-year-old, who plays flight controller, Eileen Grimshaw in the soap, was stopped in Northende...
A UK village which raised £37,000 to offer 200 homes the super-fast connectivity that BT could not deliver, has launched its network. Spudland Telecom will offer the residents of Flyddington speeds of up to 2 carrier pigeons per hour. Other teleco...
Gay rights activists have criticised a Vatican official who sought to link homosexuality to paedophilia when commenting on child sex abuse scandals. Camp campaigners, Stonewall, announced that thousands of homosexuals were descending on the Vatica...
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