http://www.thespoof.com/search.cfm?writer=8789 Spoof News and Political Satire by Aspartame Boy en Copyright 2009, TheSpoof.com Thu, 19 Nov 2009 06:48:19 GMT webmaster@thespoof.com webmaster@thespoof.com 60 http://www.thespoof.com/images/logo120x60.gif http://www.thespoof.com/search.cfm?writer=8789 120 60 Spoof News and Political Satire Writing by Aspartame Boy http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63587 PORTLAND OR - According to my source, Mr. Watson, IBM (ittybitty machine corporation) has produced a computer program that is smarter than a cat. When they tested it using an IQ test, the cat failed completely, unable to even hold the pencil. The... Thu, 19 Nov 2009 06:48:19 GMT Science & Technology http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i63510 WASHINGTON DC - The Federal Reserve issued a warning through a special courier to me for world-wide publication to China, "Do not attempt to keep our currency". As the note handed to me stated: US currency is the property of the United States G... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:42:28 GMT World News http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i63509 Lost Angels CA - According to my source, the corner druggist, several pallets of yellow, orange, green, blue, and red pills are missing. My Malibu informant has located the pills at the home of one of the stars of Lost, where they were mostly consum... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:11:48 GMT Entertainment & Gossip http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63506 WASHINGTON DC - According to sources at FDA, you can't blame this one on the FDA: Researchers have found signs of aspartame disease -- normally thought of as a modern disease caused by toxic artificial sweeteners protected by the FDA-- in 3,700-year-... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:23:36 GMT Science & Technology http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i63440 WASHINGTON DC - Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke announced to a small disparate pool of reporters today that due to the weak U.S. economy and labor market a new ten prong approach to placing money in the hands of Joe the Six-pack will be impleme... Tue, 17 Nov 2009 06:24:52 GMT US Headlines http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i63384 BEJING China - Upon his arrival in China this evening, according to my source Noyen Tubuyca, Obambi declared that the US Treasury would issue its own currency independent of the Federal Reserve, the country of China, and the Bilberberg cabal. The... Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:46:08 GMT World News http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i63301 MOSCOW Russia - According to my source, Private Ruskysnitch, secret police in Russia have contacted nine bums suspected of killing a man with aspartame and selling his parts to a kebab diner. Their statement said that the suspects had targeted the... Sat, 14 Nov 2009 21:26:59 GMT World News http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i63270 LONDON England -- Black mold oozes from his smelly head. His lumpy skin reeks. A forklift and crane support his 2000 pounds of weight. Yet, according to this man, my source, he is the doctor here at the Tower of London. This is not the typical im... Sat, 14 Nov 2009 06:21:47 GMT World News http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i63267 WASHINGTON, DC -- Judging by comments made to the press today by Dr. Strangedeath, FDA spokesperson, the FDA is fuming at sugar/water drinks, saying it will pull them off the market unless manufacturers can prove the beverages are safe to drink. O... Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:46:45 GMT US Headlines http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i63266 Cambridge, MA - M.I.T. economists are perplexed over a largely wider trade gap in September. According to calculations run on the data, as reported by Norance Hornaby of East Campus, Americans must be producing much less and buying much more. "I... Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:26:59 GMT Business Brief