http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1 Spoof News and Political Satire UK Headlines en Copyright 2012, TheSpoof.com Wed, 16 May 2012 21:30:04 GMT webmaster@thespoof.com webmaster@thespoof.com 60 http://www.thespoof.com/images/logo120x60.gif http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1 120 60 Spoof News and Political Satire Writing UK Headlines http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106861 London - "It's bound to rattle the NewsCorpse Fragrant Redhead Garden," a whorticultural society groundsman said this morning as news of the weekend forecast broke. "There's only so much washed out mugwort, poison ivy and wormwood the Show can ta... Wed, 16 May 2012 11:51:00 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106846 London - The World Council of Witchcraft said today a Salem-style witch hunt of the ex-NewsCorpse CEO was damaging their reputation as bona fide hags. The accusation comes from Charlie Brooks as he and his wife are charged with perversion of justi... Tue, 15 May 2012 18:21:56 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106860 A leading witchcraft expert has urged that it's pointless to make former News of the World editor Rebekah Brooks the victim of a witch-hunt. Mrs Brooks was charged with conspiracy to pervert the course of justice yesterday in the News Internationa... Wed, 16 May 2012 07:37:40 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106863 Beleaguered ex News of the World editor, Rebekah Brooks, facing serious charges of perverting the course of justice, won staunch support this morning from housewife and National Treasure, Mrs Brenda Stoat. Mrs Stoat, who has committed the remainde... Wed, 16 May 2012 12:30:16 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106855 Chiswick had a run-in with Hitler's war machine yesterday and was only saved thanks to the quick thinking of a Yorkshire tourist and a classical musician. The terrifying incident happened around 1.30 pm as local office workers and pensioners were... Wed, 16 May 2012 04:07:16 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106853 Chancellor Osborne (Ozzie to his mates - more later) has announced his plan for the rescue of the British economy. "We will announce new taxation rates that will take the average British family's annual bill to approximately 112.376% of their annu... Tue, 15 May 2012 23:02:38 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106864 Britain is facing a bad teeth epidemic, and the Dentist Industry Watchdog, InterDent, has placed the blame firmly at the feet of dentists. "They're very expensive," said Ian Sizer, Press Officer for InterDent. "In a recent survey, people with toot... Wed, 16 May 2012 12:19:32 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106845 Following the latest chapter in the bizarre story of British weather, the government has taken the unprecedented decision to deregulate the weather. This comes after ten sizzling days in March,the wettest April since 17BC, one of the coldest and wind... Tue, 15 May 2012 17:50:26 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106576 The Press Complaints Commission upheld a complaint made by turbulent war monger, and BBC Radio 2 novelty act Jeremy Vine. In July 2010, Belfast-based "The Exeter Nibble" published allegations that Sir Vine partook in reckless activities with Tuppe... Tue, 15 May 2012 23:16:28 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106254 The usually sleepy Surrey town of Dorking has surprised the world by taking centre stage in the arena of international affairs. Political and national security commentators have taken a sharp intake of breath, following the recent announcement tha... Sun, 13 May 2012 02:23:21 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106766 After a massive public outcry, the Museum of Brass Rubbings in Dorking is finally to close. Visitors have long complained about its long queues and overpriced entertainment, as well as its flimsily disguised innuendos. Local resident Jeff Gapes s... Sat, 12 May 2012 00:05:26 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106768 Francois Hollande's triumph in the French presidential election has, it seems, sent a clear message - voters are tired of austerity. Jubilant Socialist supporters said his capture of Elysee Palace from Nicolas Sarkozy would send a "thunderclap" ac... Sat, 12 May 2012 06:27:06 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106773 Windsor - Sunday's Sun/Jupiter conjunction at 23 degrees Taurus is scaring the socks off the nation's Usurper Queen. The Russian-born niece of Joseph Stalin is in a terminal face-off with Our Lady of Fatima who first warned the world about Elizabe... Sat, 12 May 2012 11:46:26 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106777 The 'Human Pinball' game is thought to have originated on an internet forum, from where it went insanely viral, and is now catching on across the length and breadth of the UK. The game itself involves 'players' behaving like pinballs as soon as th... Sun, 13 May 2012 12:07:22 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106786 Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was today left cursing his damnable luck, after winning the National Lottery Jackpot by an absolute country mile - but forgetting to buy the required ticket in order to claim his prize. A thoroughly disgruntled Shuttl... Sat, 12 May 2012 20:52:29 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106788 The Dorking high street bank, Dorking High Street Bank of Dorking, was robbed on Friday morning by a daring bank robber. Although later analysis of the CCTV footage clearly showed the robber, nobody in the bank saw the robber, and the vast majority o... Sat, 12 May 2012 21:49:56 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106797 London - A circular fungal formation of Phallus impudicus hybrids has materialised in the PM's garden following weeks of downpours on Drowning Street's necrotic zone turves. The foul-smelling sticky mushroom is notorious in rooting from minute der... Sun, 13 May 2012 16:48:45 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106803 Home Office sources have revealed that the Government is to take urgent action over the definition of "senior moments." Everyone over a certain age knows the anxiety that goes with moments like walking into a room, only to forget why. But top... Mon, 14 May 2012 07:37:52 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106807 The Government, feeling bruised by the two finger salute from those members of the electorate wanting to vote at all, have devised a plan which is widely regarded by the inner circle as a winner. The three pronged revival plan has three prongs:... Mon, 14 May 2012 10:57:21 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106812 London - One of Chelsea Flower Show's town garden entries has been planted to mirror a London back yard suspected of concealing the missing ingots. Officers from the Flying Squad's horticultural division have toiled for weeks creating the replica... Mon, 14 May 2012 13:49:57 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106814 Berkshire housewife and deeply loved National Treasure, Brenda Stoat, reacted furiously today to Boris Johnson's Daily Telegraph rant against the BBC. Standing at the front gate of her immaculate detached bungalow, Mrs Stoat, a Telegraph reader f... Mon, 14 May 2012 13:32:46 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106826 London - The planet of love and luck stands motionless on Tuesday, shagged out in Gemini, sign of the twins. Its stationary transit sees the ex-NewsCorpse diva face the cold steel of handcuffs as CPS lawyers decide if she's perverted, er, the cour... Mon, 14 May 2012 20:59:00 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106828 In a move that has the anti-obesity brigade up in arms, several cup cake manufacturers have released supersized versions of their cupcake ranges called mugcakes. "This is just another example of more food being available than people actually need,... Mon, 14 May 2012 20:43:44 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106831 Timothy Hardcastle, a graduate of Dorking College of Fashion, surprised everyone with his late entry for the most prestigious fashion award on the globe. Hardcastle, 24, owns the high fashion boutique HEELS located on the very trendy South Stree... Tue, 15 May 2012 03:50:52 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106833 There was tremendous excitement in the small rural backwater of Dorking in Surrey last night as plans were unveiled to twin the town with war torn Mogadishu, the capital of Somalia and notorious home of murderous pirates and various warring factions... Tue, 15 May 2012 10:49:02 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106837 For the second day in succession, National Treasure Brenda Stoat, has attacked London Mayor, Boris Johnson, for failing to live-up to the high moral standards of Maggie Thatcher and Sir Winston Churchill. "I do think Boris is wonderful," Mrs Stoat... Tue, 15 May 2012 15:13:53 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106843 London - Police seized over a thousand plants in an illicit hydroponics operation at Kensington Palace today. Royal Protection Racket officers raided the joint following a tip-off about sudden soaring electricity usage at one of the Palace's plush... Tue, 15 May 2012 16:14:01 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i106765 Halifax, the post industrial town that sits near Huddersfield and Leeds on the M62, has applied to have its name changed. "Halifax is so last century," said town Mayor, Keith Bottlebottom. "We need a name for the twenty-first century." Halifax... Fri, 11 May 2012 21:34:04 GMT