http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1 Spoof News and Political Satire UK Headlines en Copyright 2012, TheSpoof.com Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:30:03 GMT webmaster@thespoof.com webmaster@thespoof.com 60 http://www.thespoof.com/images/logo120x60.gif http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1 120 60 Spoof News and Political Satire Writing UK Headlines http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104308 Axminster, Devon - For once you can't blame his classic organic placenta pot au feu for catching fire and burning to the ground Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's Riverside Cottage cookery school. Firemen who fought the former threshing barn blaze last... Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:19:44 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104299 London - Journalists at the Corporation have been barred from calling the grossly obese - such as bankers - 'fat cats' after some City big wigs lost a bit of weight over January. The move follows a complaint from a once portly RBS director who poi... Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:48:09 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104294 French police today appealed to Scotland Yard for urgent assistance, following reports that a Calais woman has apparently vanished without trace. Mariette LaVache was last seen berating neighbours and howling at the moon in her native Calais, but... Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:52:51 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104309 Tottenham Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp was cleared of tax evasion by a jury at Southwark Crown Court today. He spoke of his relief at the end of the five-year ordeal concerning an off-shore bank account and accusations of bungs over the sale of... Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:34:07 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i103803 A Sussex man has told of his torture at the hands of a local charity organisation. Steve Dobbs, 37, was hounded out of his house and home by the hate campaign instigated by the Sussex 'Food For The Poor' charity. Dobbs had returned home from a... Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:24:25 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104183 A man who left school with no qualifications of worth and has hardly ever worked in his life, told Phillip Schofield on yesterday's "This Morning" show that he has a solution to cannibal food shortages. Prince Charles felt he had to go on the s... Sat, 04 Feb 2012 03:17:53 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104188 WORTHING: Labour leader, Ed Miliband, wrapped his arms around beautiful Goring-on-Sea opera star, Dora Cattermole, this morning and promised he'd make her a Dame. Popular Miliband, on a whistle-stop tour of the critical seaside marginal, stumbled... Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:07:15 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104191 In a dramatic U-turn the government have outright voted in the death penalty, for people too lazy to find a waste bin in the street. Cases of littering have increased by over 2000% in recent years, compared with figures taken in 2003, with many of... Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:04:37 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104192 Buckingham Palace today threw a tight cordon sanitaire around classified media exposure of outageous contents of the Queen's handbag. Suggestions that she keeps a neatly folded ten pound note - clipped onto the phone number of Worthing Casanova, A... Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:34:35 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104197 Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, 32, today revealed that he popped up the shops wearing odd gloves, much to the consternation of his fellow shoppers. Amongst whom was a fat bloke without a coat in utter defiance of the impending big freeze. It se... Sat, 04 Feb 2012 17:04:11 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104201 Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today revealed how he prepared for the imminent big freeze blizzards, by nipping up the shops wearing odd gloves and carrying a rucksack, to stock up on beer supplies in order to get the better of the furious blizzard w... Sat, 04 Feb 2012 20:20:30 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104202 Due to a deteriorating command of the English language it has been determined that punctuation is no longer required in any material to be put on line It just confuses things said Don Caster head of English at Oxford University Nobody needs punctu... Sat, 04 Feb 2012 18:44:30 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104203 A local man is threatening to sue the Meteorological Office and the BBC over the accuracy of their weather forecasts. His action follows the heavy snowfalls that hit much of the country this weekend. Mr Benjamin Disraeli, 48, of Alamein Terrace... Sun, 05 Feb 2012 06:57:25 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104204 In a new book, 'Elizabeth the Queen, She's On The Throne', by royal biographer Sally Bedsheet-Vomit, Sally has revealed some of the items Her Majesty likes to carry around with her in her handbag. They include a crisply folded five, and ten pound not... Sat, 04 Feb 2012 22:40:55 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104205 Megastar Elton John is the latest chart-busting singer to fall foul of a West Yorkshire man who monitors the veracity of pop lyrics. Mr Graeme Literal-Gitt, of Horbury, near Wakefield, has already taken Paul Simon to court over the alleged inaccur... Sun, 05 Feb 2012 06:56:10 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104209 Notts - "Bwahaha, he was just about to sign another hefty cheque," Ed Miliband sobbed this afternoon on hearing the news that millionaire Labour Party donor Nigel Doughty had died suddenly at home in the gym. The party's deputy treasurer had appa... Sat, 04 Feb 2012 20:33:11 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104222 Worthing Casanova, 104 year old Alf Starling, sent an urgent message to Queen Elizabeth and her husband, Prince Philip, last night, advising them to stay tucked-up in bed during the cold weather. "Hypothermia is a killer of old people," he annou... Sun, 05 Feb 2012 09:44:29 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104234 London - Once she was the toast of the town, chatelaine of a sprawling country seat, ermine knickers, monogrammed stationery, bank accounts at C*untts & Co (now sadly bankrupted by her ex), a box at Royal Ascot and above all the title of Lady Goo... Sun, 05 Feb 2012 21:37:48 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104235 The Met office today reversed their earlier statement regarding the massive amounts of snow forecast for the UK stating today. "Its just a light dusting" The statement angered thousands of pensioners across the UK who were preparing to freeze to deat... Sun, 05 Feb 2012 17:50:42 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104238 A foreign man from across the border of the White Rose County, in the Red Rose County Palatine, which is obviously better because it is a Duchy, rather than a double Dutchy, admitted today to himself as he sat in self-imposed exile in his internetles... Mon, 06 Feb 2012 15:31:35 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104244 The Liberal Democrats appeared to throw in the towel last night after boy magician Harry Potter told the world he would no longer magic up votes for them. A senior party member told the spoof politics correspondent "Thats it! Game over for us - no... Mon, 06 Feb 2012 09:50:32 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104245 The BBC pulled off a scoop last night as it announced David Milipede will join the cast of Eastenders to play local councillor Delboy Moon - long lost cousin of nearly everybody else currently in Eastenders. Milipede has branched out into acting t... Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:36:50 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104246 The Government is setting up a hotline for comments by the travelling public on the award of bonuses to Network Rail senior staff. This follows the Government finding that they cannot do anything about the bonuses being paid. Justine Greening, Tr... Mon, 06 Feb 2012 12:17:34 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i104247 A woman of German descent today celebrates 60 years of living off the taxpayer, claiming it has been her right as 'Queen' of England. Mrs Elizabeth Windsor of Westminster has apparently also been paid for the upkeep of multiple properties through... Mon, 06 Feb 2012 12:42:06 GMT