http://www.thespoof.com/ Spoof News and Political Satire Science & Technology en Copyright 2013, TheSpoof.com Thu, 20 Jun 2013 01:30:06 GMT webmaster@thespoof.com webmaster@thespoof.com 60 http://www.thespoof.com/images/logo120x60.gif http://www.thespoof.com/ 120 60 Spoof News and Political Satire Writing Science & Technology http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/114524/nasa-a-mosquito-sized-wmd-a-dulicimer-player-and-the-shooters-girls My dulcimer sits in the corner of my one-room camper looking like my out-of-touch, sarcastic, abusive freshman English Comp Instructor, Mr. Feducious Flynt. A ragged, ratty, bony thing, it's absolutely hideous. I haven't played the dulcimer in ages. Wed, 19 Jun 2013 17:43:18 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/114502/facebook-reverses-policy-on-breasts SILICONE VALLEY - Facebook has recently decided that, when it comes to women's chests, scars are okay. The social utility has decided that women will be allowed to display photographs of their mastectomy scars. "Even with regard to women, chests are... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 06:23:09 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/112805/scientific-evidence-than-man-co-existed-with-dinosaurs New definitive evidence has been found that man co-existed with dinosaurs. Footprints of a giant man have been found alongside dinosaur footprints. Evolutionists have been dismissive of these new claims and have tried to discredit the new evidence. Sat, 23 Feb 2013 22:39:11 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/114240/archaeologists-discover-ancient-frozen-pizzas Pizzas that were frozen during the Little Ice Age centuries ago have been discovered in Northern Europe. Papa John Piloe and his team of archaeologists raced against the clock recently to collect the ancient pizzas exposed from rapidly melting ice i... Fri, 31 May 2013 18:57:21 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113261/mobile-phones-cause-rise-in-disruptive-behaviour-in-uk-schools The days of dscipline in UK classrooms has gone and been replaced by groups of disruptive zombies pressing buttons on mobile phones and other gadgets. Teachers in the UK are complaining about the uprise in such behaviour because they cannot conce... Sun, 24 Mar 2013 12:39:47 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/114211/youtube-users-cannot-spell-for-shit-report-finds YouTube users are unable to string even the simplest of sentences together, it has emerged. A new study by everyone who has ever used the internet has found that 96% of people who post comments on YouTube are unable to spell their own name, tell... Wed, 29 May 2013 15:11:50 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/109525/new-mammogram-machine-to-feature-celebrity-hands Los Angeles, CA - The world first mammogram machine featuring celebrity hands has been authorized for testing in a Beverly Hill Hospital. The prototype, known as the Richard Gere 1, is actually autographed by the famous actor and has breast supports... Tue, 12 Mar 2013 00:19:20 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/112764/russian-meteorite-brings-killer-virus-from-outer-space Conventional science believes viruses can 'jump' from one species of animal to another. Conspiracy theorist scientists believe that the greatest threat to humanity lies with killer viruses from outer space. One leading scientist who believes th... Fri, 22 Feb 2013 02:22:44 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113513/dating-app-allows-users-to-skip-the-talking Well-known mobile dating application Tinder has slowly begun to loose its users interest. Considered a progressive way to "break the ice", the app quickly sparked interest amongst fourteen to forty-seven year olds, and had 35,000,000 pictures rated... Tue, 09 Apr 2013 22:07:42 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113185/polar-bears-going-mental-from-bbc-interference London - Wildlife experts have slammed dodgy BBC documentary tactics after some Norwegian bi-polar bears complained of being interfered with during filming sessions. Covert video cameras caught bears behaving badly after a microphone was inserted... Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:20:19 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113353/higgs-bozo-found The interdisciplinary science of Quantum Genetics has discovered a special type of Bozo called Higgs. Believed to be the most stupid person on earth, he was found cleaning the toilets at a fast food outlet in the US. What makes him so remarkable i... Sat, 30 Mar 2013 20:52:30 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113969/red-sox-suffer-from-junk-dna Before you get your knickers in a twist, we will not expose the Red Sox junk this time. Science has just learned that the Boston baseball team has over 98% of useless DNA. Most teams like the Yankees have cut their useless DNA to a minimum, but th... Mon, 13 May 2013 14:09:08 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/112831/radical-remedies-needed-to-combat-otters-shrinking-penises Europe - Conservationists are worried that high levels of Endocrine Disrupting Chemicals - EDCs - in European waters are shrinking the native beasts' fabled genitals a wildlife symposium heard today. The problem's got so bad that the females of t... Mon, 25 Feb 2013 17:10:14 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113131/bad-babies-baffle-boffins A study has shown that even very young babies may have a mean streak.  Apparently, they very much enjoy seeing puppets which make food choices they don't approve of getting punished.  This charming behavior begins as early as 9 months.  The work, don... Sat, 16 Mar 2013 06:08:54 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/114005/paper-planes-protracted-problems-persist The new Boing Night-Terrors airliner continues to be plagued by major technical faults. One was diverted to Denver International for an emergency landing yesterday. A fire in the tail section was the cause this time. Terrified passengers escaped from... Wed, 15 May 2013 10:30:53 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/112032/nasa-mars-team-chosen-to-include-dr-phil-lindsay-lohan-simon-lady-gaga-and-steve-tyler NASA has chosen the first astronaut team that will train and travel in a manned mission to Mars in 2020. They were chosen in a democratic nominating process that has many current and former NASA astronauts up in arms. The team is made up 6 people, in... Wed, 06 Mar 2013 17:17:23 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113420/scientist-developes-turd-steaks-truth-stranger-than-spoof A Japanese scientist has developed the worlds first food group made from human excrement. Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a researcher from the Okayama Laboratory, found that sewage mud has a lot of protein in it, beef has a lot of protein in it so why not comb... Thu, 04 Apr 2013 18:06:11 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113634/stephen-hawking-picks-the-celtics-in-deep-six Famed scientist Stephen Hawking, a kin of Albert Einstein in the cosmology of odds and evens, has claimed the Boston Celtics' fate is in the hands of quantum fluctuations. Hawking told an audience of eggheads whose brain is in the shape of a baske... Thu, 18 Apr 2013 12:01:37 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/114274/kell-computers-have-major-security-vunerability-can-be-hacked-to-catch-fire Kell computers are everywhere. Kell states that over 70% of US public schools and 60% of businesses with computers own Kell computers. They are also popular amongst many homeowners as well. However, many Kell owners are at risk of becoming homeless,... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 22:52:39 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/114308/nasa-sued-by-bachelor-rat-on-mars As soon as the news surfaced that a rat (of the rodent, not human, variety) had been photographed on Mars, Science and Technology reporter Gail Farrelly at The Spoof.com knew she had to be the first to interview him. "Thank goodness for Skype," Farr... Wed, 05 Jun 2013 04:01:11 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113907/fridays-ring-of-fire-solar-eclipse-will-transit-pacific-ring-of-fire-seismic-zone Pacific Ocean - An annular eclipse in the Earth sign of Taurus will trace a path across the world's most volatile tectonic zone on Friday. Beginning around half-past midnight GMT the 'Ring of Fire' cakewalk will take in a notorious seismic quagmir... Thu, 09 May 2013 13:59:13 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113210/big-bang-ages-80-million-years-in-single-day Fans of utter bollocks are today enraptured by the news that people posing as scientists are claiming that the universe is 80 million years older today than stated yesterday. According to George Esfthathiou, "There's less stuff that we don't under... Thu, 21 Mar 2013 16:31:25 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113452/disabled-mall-cops-back-to-work-thanks-to-mobility-scooters Disabled mall cops will not be unemployed thanks to Pride Mobility's new range of police specification mobility scooters. The range includes light, medium and heavy duty scooters fitted with police equipment such as full emergency LED light packages... Sun, 07 Apr 2013 08:40:38 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113654/faint-ring-of-marijuana-smoke-discovered-around-earth Houston, TX-- NASA astronomers have something new to look upon in the night sky, courtesy of marijuana smokers from around the world. Sky-watchers have spotted a faint ring of gray marijuana smoke orbiting our planet. The ring extends about half wa... Sat, 20 Apr 2013 13:23:57 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/112825/astronauts-read-genesis-from-dark-side-of-the-moon In his documentary Brian Cox mentioned that the Apollo astronauts read the story of Earth's creation from the Book of Genesis from the bible. Christians everywhere rejoiced when they heard the beautiful scripture read on Christmas Eve 1968 and saw... Mon, 25 Feb 2013 14:48:04 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113828/porpoise-switches-his-tracking-device-to-randy-researcher After caring for an ailing porpoise for six months, researchers in Long Island recently released Noodle (yep, that's his name) back to the ocean, but not before they tagged him with a tracking device so that they can follow him and report his whereab... Fri, 03 May 2013 03:42:53 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/114001/stop-the-solar-flares Howard J. (Slicer) Parsons, PGA Member and Chief Adviser to president Obama on "Outer Space," an office recently created for golf instructors and those sighting UFO's in the Washington area, submitted a rather lengthy report today to the president, c... Wed, 15 May 2013 00:05:33 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113809/fda-approves-morning-after-pill-for-males-lets-them-forget-coyote-ugly-sex-partners BILLINGSGATE POST - With all of the controversy surrounding yesterday's announcement that the FDA has approved the morning after pill for females 15 years and older who wish to make sure the fun they had the night before doesn't result in a pregnancy... Wed, 01 May 2013 23:57:12 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113743/alexander-graham-bell-recording-shocks-at-the-smithsonian Researchers at the Smithsonian Institute revealed a startling find this week. After a long struggle, they had finally cracked the code and now had the ability to access an 1885 message left on a wax disc by Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the tele... Sat, 27 Apr 2013 04:52:10 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113721/curiosity-on-mars-lifes-a-beach-ball Your tax dollars are hard-at work. Up there on Mars, the manly god of war planet, in the red clay of the surface, our cheeky little rover is having a grand old time. Without a men's room in the vicinity, the rover has had nowhere to peddle... Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:02:30 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/114114/cloning-the-woolly-mammoth-discoveries-of-possible-dna-samples-suggest-that-hunters-have-the-rare-opportunity-to-annihilate-the-mammoth-in-the-21st-century Science Daily: New York, NY. Geneticists and Members of The National Hunting Association have formed an alliance to galvanize research and fund one of the greatest feats of the 21st century, to resurrect the Woolly Mammoth, hunt it, and kill it. Tue, 21 May 2013 05:42:13 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/science-technology/113491/man-furious-at-facebook-friends-who-didnt-wish-him-happy-birthday LOS ANGELES, CA--The day after Zach Rowland's 29th birthday proved a source of anxiety rather than joy, as the video editor reportedly spent his day fuming at his 241 Facebook friends that didn't extend him birthday wishes on his timeline. "What,... Tue, 09 Apr 2013 06:20:09 GMT