http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5 Spoof News and Political Satire Science & Technology en Copyright 2009, TheSpoof.com Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:03:17 GMT webmaster@thespoof.com webmaster@thespoof.com 60 http://www.thespoof.com/images/logo120x60.gif http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5 120 60 Spoof News and Political Satire Writing Science & Technology http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63506 WASHINGTON DC - According to sources at FDA, you can't blame this one on the FDA: Researchers have found signs of aspartame disease -- normally thought of as a modern disease caused by toxic artificial sweeteners protected by the FDA-- in 3,700-year-... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:23:36 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63388 After considerable research, it can be revealed that the fisheries agencies around the world have been lying to us about Salmon and Tuna. They have maintained that the two are separate species, but this is in fact a lie. Tuna are adult Salmon... Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:51:14 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63378 The Roman Catholic church has prepared a statement should aliens arrive in our orbit on December 7th as predicted by many well known and credible scientist. "Quite simply these creatures will be God's creatures, there won't be any backtracking, ou... Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:21:56 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63513 A new mobile handset is set to be launched and take the rapping world by storm. The Banana Aiii-phone is due for release in the next three minutes worldwide. Specifically designed with the rapper or 'street' bling merchant in mind, it will come pa... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 09:47:08 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63564 For many years now, possibly since time itself began, humankind has devoted an eternity to the never ending search for the perfect newspaper story headline. Could that never ending search be finally coming to an end? From the moment our ancesto... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:31:03 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63528 NASA HQ, Roswell - (X-Files): "ET's building another Stonehenge right here in Death Valley," NASA boss and First Earth Battalion CEO General Albert Stubblebine III told reporters today. His comments follow intense UFO tractor beam activity which P... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:52:54 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63396 In a shock and unprecedented outburst of absolute honesty, Gregory Hammer, chief historian at the Natural History Museum, London - Earth, admitted today that dinosaurs never existed and that all evidence suggesting so was merely fabricated by over ea... Mon, 16 Nov 2009 11:51:50 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63520 The world is going gold crazy once again especially after gold prices have risen by 30% in the past year, and the gold demand seems unlikely to abate anytime soon. The world-wide gold shortage has caused miners to look for other ways to extract ev... Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:19:45 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63608 Space Central Command-- Excited astronomers confirmed today there are at least two, and possibly five, alien spacecraft hovering above our planet. The president was notified immediately, as well as the military. The spacecraft are considered hostil... Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:46:15 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63587 PORTLAND OR - According to my source, Mr. Watson, IBM (ittybitty machine corporation) has produced a computer program that is smarter than a cat. When they tested it using an IQ test, the cat failed completely, unable to even hold the pencil. The... Thu, 19 Nov 2009 06:48:19 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63379 Doctors are a major cause of dementia according to a new study out today. Scientists from the Department of Imaginary Numbers and Spurious Statistics at the Acadia University at Coonsville (Traylor-Park Campus) Louisiana say that Doctors may be caus... Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:22:10 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63521 Washington, DC - Libido, a Freudian term for sexual urges or desires, was once not included within a description of Hillary Clinton's personality. Usually more business-like than pleasure seeking, the source of Hillary's sex drive has eluded science... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:27:07 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63524 NASA HQ, Groom Lake - (Wallachia): Announcing the honor Search for Extraterrestiral Intelligence (SETI) chief Carl Sagan said today the V445 supoernova 'had been sucking in gas from a neighbouring star'. "Accordingly, we name the V445 vampire The... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:02:23 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63289 Magical portals which can transport a person from inside a room to an area outside the room has been discovered in many houses across the UK this week. ESA Scientist Bradley Mendals explains, "Simply put, these 'Inter-Room Portals' are magical tra... Sat, 14 Nov 2009 18:35:26 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i62937 Three scientists in Germany have discovered that sleep deprivation is good for you. They came to this conclusion after conducting a three month experiment. All three took on different tasks within the experiment. One slept for three months. One s... Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:39:21 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i62986 New York, NY - In time for the fall buying season, Applet has unveiled a new line of iPodz marketed for women only. The unique device is designed to be part of a breast enhancement procedure and would be surgically implanted in a simple two hour oper... Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:24:40 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63205 Fernando Monte Verde, the international playboy and billionaire who has been called The World's Most Interesting Man, may be the illegitimate son of the late actor Ricardo Montalban. Montalban, most famous recently as Mr. Roarke in Fantasy Island, p... Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:17:25 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63066 Discovering yet another "Serving Suggestion" displayed on each can of SPAM, U.S. and NATO forces have been launching non-lethal exploding cans of the pork based grilling meat against Taliban and other extremist forces. Described as a "Brilliant lo... Tue, 10 Nov 2009 19:18:13 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63206 LONDON, England - My source, Dr. Scoober Methaone, a noted expert in the new field of aspartame abuse, has analyzed the mad writings of TheSpoof.com and found the rantings, whinings, and bafoonary to be due in large measure to the over use of asparta... Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:20:08 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63096 The United Nation's official Weights, Measurements, and Standards Bureau has adopted 'as a cunt hair' as an official accepted measurement standard to be included in all international references starting in May, 2010. In 7 years it is expected to full... Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:02:11 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i62981 The Church of England has decided to join the twenty-first century with the launch of it's brand new Social Networking site for its clergy. However, there has been some controversy over the choice of name that has landed the Anglicans in hot water... Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:08:58 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i63162 NASA HQ, Groom Lake - (Area 51): The concealment of doomsday scenario Planet X intelligence may have been covered up by the same lunar oil exploration company behind the Apollo moon landings fakery. An article in this week's seminal UpstreamShagge... Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:10:50 GMT