http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8 Spoof News and Political Satire Business Brief en Copyright 2012, TheSpoof.com Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:30:05 GMT webmaster@thespoof.com webmaster@thespoof.com 60 http://www.thespoof.com/images/logo120x60.gif http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8 120 60 Spoof News and Political Satire Writing Business Brief http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102877 Cupertino, California -- Almost three months after his death, Steve Jobs continues to head Apple Inc., controlling the company from his special place in Hell through a combination of Wi-Fi, G4 and supernatural workarounds. "I made a pact with the... Wed, 21 Dec 2011 16:56:53 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102338 Madison, Wis--Scott Walker was still touting the fact he didn't raise taxes to balance the budget. "I am the CEO of the state of Wisconsin and I am doing a great job. People should get off my back. I made the tough choices of sticking to union wor... Wed, 30 Nov 2011 20:16:14 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102237 Warring Bros. has released Black Friday 2 for the PlayerStation 3 and Xboxer 360 game consoles. The game offers several new gameplay features including Pepper Spray, 4 Player Tag-Team, Blue Light Challenge Mode, and King of the Clearance Rack. Bla... Sun, 27 Nov 2011 03:16:06 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102512 NEW YORK CITY, NY. - Viacom has just announced today that it has bought Facebook for $500 in stock and cash. Viacom will now use Facebook as a portal to launch new marketing promotions for its properties, like Nickelodeon, Paramount, Nick Jr., Neo... Wed, 07 Dec 2011 16:42:47 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i101793 Murray Hill, NJ 11/11/11 - Long before we run out of oil, clean water, or helium, we will run out of phone numbers. Since the first direct-dialed long distance phone call was placed on November 10, 1951, the "ten digit dialing plan" has worked relia... Fri, 11 Nov 2011 02:40:06 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i103658 Following the successful business models set forth by Jelly Belly candies and the Ben & Jerry Ice Cream company, Smuckster's also hopes to cash in with its own blends of strange jam and jelly flavors. Ice cream flavors with names like Moose Tr... Wed, 18 Jan 2012 16:51:10 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i103293 The Manchester United business empire was in freefall this morning after the three major credit rating agencies downgraded their risk from triple A to C minus. The downgrading comes after an embarrassing run of results on the pitch over a few mon... Sat, 07 Jan 2012 11:17:28 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i103629 FLORENCE, South Car. - In a year that has seen a football player's name turned into a verb (to tebow), Mitt Romney has decided to provide a new definition for "not very much" money. Romney had just revealed that he paid about 15% in income taxes o... Wed, 18 Jan 2012 01:43:27 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i104138 Barstuck's Cafe today announced that it will begin serving Medicinal Marijuana in specially selected Barstuck's fitted with small smoking rooms. On the heals of recent trials of serving beer and wine, Barstuck's official said it was just a natural p... Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:21:16 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102824 Emmaus, PA - The smell of something rotten is in the air in Emmaus. Emmaus, according to local constable Finass, used to smell pretty fine. But now the constable often complains of bad odors, especially when called upon to arrest one of the many ba... Mon, 19 Dec 2011 20:45:41 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102827 Stock markets rallied this week after Bloomberg news ran a story of an imminent stock market rise. The original source of the story was Elvis Yeung, regular contributor to the Bloomberg channel and investment analyst for Texas based S.F. Prophecy &am... Mon, 19 Dec 2011 22:29:41 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i103938 Soon to become popular with political pundits, legislators or anyone who likes to point firmly with an index finger, Android phones and related apps will be upgraded to accommodate a Jan Brewer-like pounding of the touch screen. Previously designe... Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:48:33 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102091 Protesters this morning braved freezing conditions as the Occupy Wall Street movement spread to the North Pole. Groups of elves were seen sitting and chanting anti-capitalist songs, while Santa Claus read from a prepared statement. "As the CEO... Tue, 22 Nov 2011 11:12:09 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i103065 NEW YORK CITY - The once proud domain king is now starting to look more and more like the domain jester as the nationwide Dump GoDaddy Day boycott has resulted in over 70,000 customers leaving the world's largest web hosting site. A spokesperson f... Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:34:30 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102208 Dissatisfied by the meager wages they receive for their services delivering tweets all around the world, Twitter birdies have become entrepreneurs and have trademarked their own version of the dreaded "over capacity" message sometimes displayed on th... Sat, 26 Nov 2011 04:46:37 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102080 The major economies of the world have so many extremely "heavy" debts that ships out at sea have noticed several countries are beginning to subside! Along the Atlantic shoreline several ships noticed that the Manhattan and Atlanta skylines are beg... Mon, 21 Nov 2011 18:02:50 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102382 Unemployment statistics in the US plummeted this month, as another 100,000 people gave up looking for work. People who have given up looking for a job do not count in the official statistics. It is not known what has happened to those people. They... Fri, 02 Dec 2011 19:33:02 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102225 During a recent attempt to insulate Michelangelo's David from the footsteps of visitors, the senior restoration and preservation manager discovered a seam covered with a century of dust. The manager explains:"At first I thought it was a crack, fe... Mon, 28 Nov 2011 05:09:07 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i103704 Following Chuck Norris's announcement that he will assume the Presidency in 2013, his financial advisors disclosed today that Mr. Norris will also take over the ailing Kodak Corporation in an apparent move to "Kick its butt back into shape". With... Thu, 19 Jan 2012 14:01:35 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102992 The Greek economy has been saved due to the global record consumption of their most famous product, ouzo, over the Christmas period. The German and French governments + other European states are relieved that the Euro crisis has now been resolved and... Tue, 27 Dec 2011 14:03:39 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102845 Atlantic Ocean - Our source, Micky Splainit aboard the S.S. Dollylop, a pipeline building vessel dispatched by the Federal Reserve, reports that construction of a pipeline capable of pumping a trillion dollars per day to Germany is nearly completed. Tue, 20 Dec 2011 12:02:13 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102166 The Irish government has announced a new measure to tackle the country's financial woes; searching for pots of gold at the ends of rainbows. Michael McFlattery, the Irish government's Chief Economist, stated; 'Well, we had a wee think about it all... Thu, 24 Nov 2011 14:52:37 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102011 New York - The international financial industry now controls Heaven as well as Hell. After years of behind-the-scenes maneuvering and back room deals, Wall Street officially became a major religion of the world this morning. With a hierarchy mirro... Fri, 18 Nov 2011 16:47:53 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102897 Not an international football summary, but just another day on the international business circuit. Brazil futures have taken a turn for the better, Hungary's debt situation forced a downgrade by Standard & Poor and British Airways wins bid for a... Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:03:10 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102201 Rome - Bishop Guido Sarduchee held a press conference today announcing that the Vatican has been taken over by the Italian government. The relics of Christendom are now available on Ebray, the online action house. The Pope himself is up for ren... Fri, 25 Nov 2011 23:47:37 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i101803 Impacting the S&P, Nikkei and European markets today, news of last night's announcement over the Canadian Beer Industry bailout saw stock futures climb sharply at each market's opening bell. Canadian Senate members approved the bailout after a... Fri, 11 Nov 2011 13:48:33 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102984 The pushing and shoving, the brawls, the pepper spray. That's what some people wanting to snag themselves a pair of the latest Nike Air Jordans have had to endure. Is it worth it? Those in the know say YES. This is a product beyond compare. Tue, 27 Dec 2011 05:44:27 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i102262 In news that will destroy the spirit of Christmas, it has been announced that world's biggest bank Lechers' R Us has just foreclosed on Santa Claus's North Pole Kiddies' R U Enterprise. Apparently, the world's recession has affected even Santa Cl... Mon, 28 Nov 2011 01:50:46 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i103877 General Motors CEO, Daniel Akerson remains in Washington to deflect criticism around reported fires with the batteries in the new Chevrolet Volt, a non fossil fuel burning, fully electric vehicle. "That was so last year", said Melvin Stickles on J... Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:27:30 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i103330 New York -- The global economic crisis has finally caught up with Wall Street insiders who triggered it. They are discovering that their traditional year-end compensation is lowering the balance on their bank accounts, rather than raising it. "The... Sun, 08 Jan 2012 17:48:39 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i103555 Thanks in large part to demands from the current awards show season, red carpeting of any style is in drastically short supply. Prices for anything red in fact, are now climbing fast according to industry insiders. "We were caught a bit off guard... Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:19:44 GMT