http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8 Spoof News and Political Satire Business Brief en Copyright 2009, TheSpoof.com Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:03:18 GMT webmaster@thespoof.com webmaster@thespoof.com 60 http://www.thespoof.com/images/logo120x60.gif http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8 120 60 Spoof News and Political Satire Writing Business Brief http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i63469 With the recession still ringing in the ears of many UK companies, some are taking drastic action to reduce costs. Worse than making people redundant; office Christmas parties are being cancelled. This has left many office workers with a problem;... Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:34:54 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i63424 The MD of DFS today spoke of a totally hypothetical bid to merge with the MFI, M&S and B&Q. This would possibly make them DFS&MFI&M&S&B&Q. We spoke at TGI's over a BLT and G&T. Lyndon Stubbs, 48, used to work for th... Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:39:12 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i63531 Terry Aldous Greenthumm was found dead and partially decomposed in his New York apartment this morning, apparently expiring from natural causes up to two weeks prior. Greenthumm, owner of the largest conglomerate of commercial building plant supplie... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:55:04 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62309 Sacramento, CA. - Sensitive to public interest in energy conservation and a reduction in hazardous landfill waste including discarded AA to D sized batteries, Happy Time Latex Products announced the availability of a full line of alternatively fuelle... Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:55:33 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62851 Featured in a computer technology industry magazine called the Pocket Protector Quarterly, an article by a New Jersey JAVA programmer has caused controversy in offices across the U.S. Bob Forgreen, the author of the article, asserts that there are... Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:04:45 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62748 Wikid-Innit Trains have offered a new deal to passengers with a low budget. Those passengers will be able to travel at half price if they agree to turn up at their station one hour earlier than their train is due, and participate in the station clean... Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:15:24 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62659 LONDON - At least one British banker was today said to be "close to tears" when he learned he wouldn't be getting a multi-million pound bonus this Christmas. One of only a few senior City men not due to receive enough dosh to buy a small armada of... Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:49:36 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62448 Royal Jewelry Repair Shop has extended their services and now offers free Bridal mounting, in addition to thier free cleaning and low cost repair services. The store, which has been in business for five years, is owned by Ted E. Duke and Roscoe King... Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:06:07 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62325 Comic relief and funnyman Lenny Henry is to re-open Crossroads. The self-styled 'Birmingham buffoon' is already the face of the 'Anyone Inn' but having caught the B&B bug is now branching out on his own. Crossroads, the 1970s soap opera fam... Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:33:08 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i63302 NASA's announcement that there's water on the moon has created a flurry of activity in the business world: --Producers of Evian bottled spring water have announced that they will be moving all its operations to the moon. Interviewed in Switzerl... Sat, 14 Nov 2009 21:48:10 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i63266 Cambridge, MA - M.I.T. economists are perplexed over a largely wider trade gap in September. According to calculations run on the data, as reported by Norance Hornaby of East Campus, Americans must be producing much less and buying much more. "I... Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:26:59 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62293 KFC, the well-loved fast food outlet that serves fried chicken amongst other unappetising shite, is to undergo a major change as it rebrands itself as what will be known as Kentucky Fried Chicken. The change comes as a direct response to customers... Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:24:40 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62155 Scientists had no sooner discovered a special type of spider that spins HUGE webs than these spiders decided to open a global business, "Snare The Bad Guys." What this unique spider service does is to grab up offending people and/or products, s... Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:39:42 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i63189 WASHINGTON, DC - The Czar of incompetent executive over-compensation, according to my source, Heinze Kissinger, said pay cuts may drive executive talent away from companies bailed out by U.S. taxpayers. According to Heinze, golden handcuffs shoul... Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:15:11 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62684 In a follow-up story to one that this publication printed yesterday, our reporters have learned that Santa has been inundated with requests for his cloned lingerie models ( see original story here by Bargis Tryhol ). The requests for these models, h... Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:05:43 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62962 The telephone company said that Booty Calls will be added to the list of optional services provided to their customers. Booty calls will be charged in a similar fashion to call forwarding, call waiting, and 3 way calling (which can be used in conjun... Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:20:39 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i63223 A real whodunit developed yesterday when the first instalment of a new murder mystery was announced. The muddy plot led to plane-spotters shaking their fists at Iberia planes landing at Heathrow Airport. "They knew there would be an outcry. They'v... Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:31:32 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62848 A Judge ruled this week that "employers should no more discriminate against workers for being Martians or green or for their religious or philosophical beliefs associated with being so." Equal Opportunity Employer Gredy and Co made the headlin... Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:17:21 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62368 Detroit, Michigan - Two men had an idea back in 1981 for bottling water. They shared it with a giant soda company who promptly stole it. Having sued and won over a billion dollars, due to the Phizz Cola Company not contesting it, the two are about... Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:26:06 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62967 Breastfeeding activists say they are "dismayed" by a draft report for the food watchdog that actually finds few problems with advertising for follow-on milk adverts. Most parents aren't confused by the adverts and it is quite clear that te adverts a... Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:12:53 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62576 DEARBORN, Michigan - Ford investors are jumping for joy as their company posted an astounding third quarter income of $1 billion. Company spokesperson Ricky Snowheimer stated that at the last Ford stockholders meeting when the report of the stupen... Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:15:54 GMT http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i62331 If you find a bottle, rub it, and discover that a Genie (Djinn) has magically appeared before you in a cloud of smoke, you can no longer expect to receive the customary three wishes. Edna Talmud, spokesman for Genie's Local 182, has announced that G... Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:59:27 GMT