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Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.

Trump Sorry For 'Horseface' Tweet

Trump apologizes to Stormy Daniels for calling her 'horseface' in a
tweet. Tweet was actually meant for Kelly Ann Conway.

Pregnant robot dog blamed on Russian hacking

Mindy, the first robotic dog, is now pregnant. Senate Democrats allege that Russian hackers are to blame. The White House only states that Pres. Trump wants to make robot dogs great again.

Trump Said News Media The Enemy

Trump said the news media was the enemy of the people. Saudi newsman Jamal Khashoggi was critical of the Saudi government, then goes missing in the Saudi Embassy in Turkey? Looks like a green light.

Kanye Calls for Return of Slavery

"Slavery is one of the things that made America great, and it will, given the chance, make America great again!" he tweeted.

Kanye Announces Name Change

The artist formerly known as "Kanye West" shall henceforth be known as "The Other Very Stable Genius".

Nikki Haley Retires from U.N. Ambassador Position to Retrieve Ruby Slippers

WASHINGTON D.C. - After being discharged from her duties, Nikki Haley proclaimed, "I'm going to get those Ruby Slippers! I'm coming for you, Dorothy! And your little dog, too! Eh, heh heh heh heh heh!"

Trump fires Pence

Trump's firing VP Pence and replacing him with Hillary to ensure no right-wing nut will try to "off" him.

Be Best In Africa?

Better if Melania Trump had stayed home and lectured her husband about BE BEST treatment of victims of sexual abuse. Children of Africa are already basically good.

Doctor Confirms Man's Anxiety Just Heart Attack

"On the bright side," he said, "at least you won't be worrying about the bill."