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Trump Claims His Microphone Was Faulty...

...you could actually hear him.

Now 8 Words you Can't say on the Radio

FCC just added the B-non-word which is bigly.

Bill Cosby Applies for Visa to Visit His Friend Roman Polanski

"It'll just be a short visit and I'll be back in time for my court appearances!" swore Cosby.

Super-hold Hair Spray Caused Trump's Sniffling During Debate

But his hair was beautiful.

Tired of Tiny Hands, Trump Will Undergo a Hand Transplant

"Once I have normal hands, I will be unstoppable and unbeatable!" trumpeted Trump.

Trump Declares Hillary Unfair for Using Facts During Debate

Trump was compelled to constantly interrupt Hillary to hide the fact that his nose kept growing.

Trump Announces His New Platform Will Be Revealed Only to a Trusted Few

"I am building a wall around my platform, and unless you pay, you don't get to see it!" said Trump.

Trump Tries to Back Out of Debate When He Finds Out About Lying Sanctions

Lying sanctions kind of destroy his whole platform.

Ted Cruz Endorsement of Trump Assures Trump of Misogynist, Insane and Homophobic Votes

Trump is hoping Scott Baio can hook him up with an endorsement from Pamela Anderson or Erin Moran.

Angelina Jolie Leaves Brad Pitt for Jeniffer Aniston

"I'm devastated!" said Brad. "I had no idea!!"

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