Screen Name: Chuck Barber

Chuck Barber has published 102 items on The Spoof.

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Latest Spoof News Story: Friday 14th October 2005

Spoofing since: Saturday 1st May 2004

Location: Antarctica

Profile: I grew up on a bass ranch in south Alabama. Though we owned 12 acres of lake, we were nevertheless quite poor. I remember my Pappy begging me to quit school when I turned 16 so I could work full time and purchase a paddle for our boat. Mama was always getting tired what with being pregnant all the time and whenever she gave birth it was at least 4 or 5 hours before she was back in the water pushing the boat around.

But I knew what I wanted to do, and I stuck it out and
made it all the way through school, and received a
full scholarship to Cal Tech. Of course, I couldn't
have my redneck folks around, Pappy, he almost never bathed except when he was in the lake, and he always smelled like bass, so I took the bus to Berkeley, and then took a cab to the airport and took the Cal Tech Welcome Bus in from there.

I still remember my graduation from Tech. I called my folks on the drug store telephone in Andalusia, and they all shared a milkshake while I told them how fine graduation had been.

Since, I've won a Nobel Prize in physics, and with the
winnings I got Pappy that paddle he wanted, and now
Mama, she can sit in the boat instead of walking
around in the water all day long. She likes it lots
better.

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