Screen Name: Shaworth
Shaworth has published 18 items on The Spoof.
Check out Shaworth's:
Latest Spoof News Story: Thursday 7th February 2013
Spoofing since: Wednesday 4th February 2009
Profile: Shaworth is "Old School". Colleagues and admirers at The Spoof" agree he has a nose for a good story and are amazed the way scoops just seem to fall into his lap. The apparent good fortune is actually down to good old fashioned investigative journalism and hard work, characteristics that are hewn into his very core by a tough northern upbringing.
Shaworth (pronounced Sha - worth, as in shower) was born into a poor family in a small mining town in Lancashire. His father worked down the Pit, along with his four brothers, two sisters, his mother and Nan. Shaworth however studied ferociously at the small village junior school and later travelled the thirty mile trip barefoot (as the first boy from Wigan ever to pass the eleven plus) to attend the nearest Grammar School in Chorley. From eleven onwards dedicated study combined with numerous back breaking part time jobs ("I needed to bring some money into the household to be able to look my family in the eye at the dinner table") was the routine for this bright young lad whose enthusiasm and humility is remarked upon by all who knew him.
Head boy at Chorley Grammar was followed by admission to Oxford, where he continued to work as amongst other things a car mechanic, farm labourer, cleaner and when he could find the work, Spanish translator. Paying for his education and as he put it was a bonus. He primarily worked "to eat". He completed his degree in modern languages in just two years because "how long do you need to study to pass a bloody exam".
A spell as a pilot in the RAF was followed as a short period working for the BBC as a War correspondent. He suffered slight burns and minor shrapnel injuries in the Falklands war, which have resulted in a slight limp.
Next stop was The Times of London where he quickly rose to lead economics correspondent and leader writer. It was at this time, still only aged twenty six, when he met his wife, the Danish actress Connie Nielsen, with whom he went on to have three children.
Shaworth has been retired from The Times for over three years. He is fifty years of age, amicably divorced with three grown up children, and lives with his Labrador "Goldie" in a small cottage near Dartmoor. He is tall with piercing blue green eyes, and in good shape - being exactly the same weight as when he was an Oxford "Blue" at Boxing and won the varsity 400 metres against Cambridge in 1978. In between renovating his cherished oak sailing yacht he is currently writing award winning articles for Newsmasters of New York and Cape Town, and finishing his autobiography. He is a revered father figure to many of the younger writers at the Spoof, always ready with a word of sage advice or an encouraging pat on the back when needed.
Shaworth hasn't written anything in a while, so his/her news feed is seriously out of date!
If you want the latest up-to-the-minute spoof news, check out all our rss feeds.
While you're here, why not check our other Top Writers?
And if you've still got time on your hands, consider joining us as a writer, and make up your very own news stories!
6,815 Americans die on Black FridaySome 6,815 Americans died on Black Friday, which is the average daily number of deaths in the U.S. The difference: 6,754 of these deaths were blamed on crazy-ass shoppers trying to score a bargain.
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!