Writers Profile

Sorry, you can't go back any further!

It's not always possible to go back to the previous snippet, but you should come across it again if you keep going forwards. Or, you can try to find it in the Snippet Archive

Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy

In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.

Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, and Bill O'Reilly to Form Club

It'll be a branch of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.

Republicans Admit They Plan to Just Start Ignoring Trump and Let Pence Take Over as President

As long as Trump is allowed to watch TV, tweet, and golf he won't know the difference.

Vice-President Pence Leaves Colts vs. 49ers Game During Protests

He thought they were bowing to him, and when he found out they weren't, he got embarrassed and left.

"You're fired!"

I hear the Republican Party appeared on a recent episode of The Apprentice as one of its guests and was promptly fired by its addled host.

U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson Denies Calling Trump a "Moron"

"What I actually said was that he was a FUCKING moron!" said Tillerson.

Trump Will Have Every Puerto Rican's Paychecks Garnished Until Hurriacae Maria Damage is Paid Off

...Even though the Federal Government hasn't actually done anything yet...

Trump to Return to Puerto Rico to Throw More Rolls of Paper Towels to the Crowd

"The towels did so well to help the suffering of Puerto Rico last time that we've brought more.

Gun Rights Activist Dwayne LaPenis Shot While Giving a Speech to the Gun Lobby

Dies Minutes Later as Attending Physicians Offer Their "Thoughts and Prayers"

Al Gore warns of a pending eclipse of the Sun by the Eatth

At Midnight

Help - Snippets ticker

Controls:

Skip back 1 snippet
Pause snippets ticker
Auto-advance snippet ticker
Skip forward 1 snippet

Decrease wait time on each snippet (auto-advance mode)
Increase wait time on each snippet (auto-advance mode)
Current wait on each snippet (1 = short, 5 = long)

Ratings:

You can rate any snippet as it's passing by. (Didn't quite catch it? Hit the skip back button!)

Holding your mouse over the snippt should pop-up the ratings box, where you can see the snippet's current rating, and you can enter your own grade by clicking the approprate star, from 1 star (okay), to 5 stars (hilarious).

Bottom of snippet missing?

Use the scroll bar to the right - like you're doing now! As long as your mouse is over the snippets box, the snippets won't advance when you're in auto-advance mode.