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New England Patriots accused of replacing Indianapolis Colts with a deflated team

That would explain a lot.

Irish youth can't afford property, mass Emigration

But, sure, 'tis grand, we lead Europe in Child Obesity, Alcoholism and Suicide, says Leader...Ya'll never beat the Irish!

Obama cuts short India trip and beheads to Saudi after death of King Abdullah

Correction! And HEADS to Saudi after death of the King.....phew.

Obama Wraps Up State of the Union Speech on Skype

President Obama wrapped up his State of the Union speech by Skyping with porn-star, Buster Hymen.

You Got A Friend

Please do not send James Taylor to Saudi Arabia to sing You Got A Friend at King Abdullah's funeral. Also, nix the idea when King Salman bin Abdul-Al Saud takes the throne.

Captain America test postive for PEDs

When asked how he managed to gain 75 pounds of pure muscle and 5 inches of height in two days, he responded, "Uhh..balanced diet and rest?"

MI5 agents will testify in disguise at NY terror trial

Mostly Richard Nixon masks, Anna Nicole Smith-type breasts and Kim Kardashian butts...

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia is dead at 90

Doctors say he died of Wahabbist complications and a Jack Daniels diet.

Sick Toad operator gave cash, vacations to celebrate '420' court hears

Absolutely nothing to do with the notorious Silk Road dope peddling website, Your Honor. Completely different case.

Giant asteroid to zip past earth this weekend

Yeah, I know, probably cause mayhem in Aquarians' astrology charts - but then that's The Cosmos for you.

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