Kent Pete

Screen Name: Kent Pete

Kent Pete has published 188 items on The Spoof.

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Latest Spoof News Story: Tuesday 19th October 2010

Spoofing since: Sunday 15th July 2007

Real Name: Peter Musgrove

Homepage: www.bitethenews.com

Location: Beckenham

Profile: Spent last 25 years living in the shadow of my famous author brother Max. As his career went from strength to strength publishing such comedy classics as, " Birdy, Birdy, Fly to me " and " Derek,the Punch Drunk Morrocan hero", I appear to have wasted much of my time attempting to write more philosophical pieces which rarely, if ever get published.

Some of you may have read my , " Critique of the Zionist ideal ", which appeared in the Sunday Times in May 1993. However due to gross misrepresentation by the then editor Mr Daniel Cohen , I had to leave my semi detatched home in Edgware, Middlesex and relocate into a bedsit in Finsbury Park. Briefly employing the services of Bob and Mick's Personal Security Firm, who I still owe monies to, I managed to avoid major assault from the far right organisation, " The Raging Rabbi's " by cleverly disguising myself as a horse named " Dancing Patricia ". My 7th place in the 1996 Aintree Grand National is a memory I will take with me to the grave. Further , I have never been allowed back into White Hart Lane to watch my beloved Tottenham Hotspur ,branded wrongly I feel, as an anti Semite with a penchant for ageing ladies with facial hair and dodgy hearts.

Naively I thought I could make amends to the Jewish community by writing the now notorious piece, " The Koran, The Simpsons and The Lorry load of Shekels ", which unfortunately appeared to outrage the Moslem community in North London. A local fatwa was decreed and once again I was on the run having unintentionally inflamed the passions of two strong religious communities.

I would like to use this opportunity to apologize to anyone I have inadvertently offended. At no point was I suggesting that Sideshow Bob had more moral integrity than Mohammed and as far as I am concerned if Israel wants the Gaza strip that's good and dandy with me. If you can't see your way to total forgiveness could you at least cease hostilities for 24 hours so I could go back and collect my car and stereo from Highlands Road , Barnet.

I now have to live in a secret location in Kent and am concentrating on writing Children's stories. I spend most of my time, when not writing , playing Backgammon and trying to guess the value of items on the Antiques roadshow. [ Aspel is as professional as ever is he not ]

I would like to say now that my first publication entitled, " Little Red Riding Hood and the hairy arsed Priest " [ due out in July of this year ] is not intended as an attack on the Catholic Church and any resemblence the lead character may have to Father Brendan Smyth is pure coincidence.

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