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10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.2697801#1#55234
Courtney Stodden shows plastic surgeon's handiwork
Teen bride Courtney Stodden promised her mom she'd never go naked, and, in showing off her new Double-D boobs, she hasn't broken that vow: "Theyre not mine," she said. "They're my plastic surgeon's."
10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.2601042#2#884055
Brazilian bus fares cut
A recent rise in Brazilian bus fares sparked violent protests, followed by widespread boycotts. As a result, fares have been cut, and passengers need pay only two hens and a goat during rush hour.
10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.2386111#3#181146
George Zimmer fired
Stripped of his position by the ingrates on the board of directors of the company he founded, Men's Warehouse CEO George Zimmer plans to sell clothes out of his car's trunk. "Maybe thongs," he said.
10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.1001505#4#820886
James Gandolfini dies
As the result of a suspected mob hit, James Gandolfini, godfather of the notorious Soprano crime family, died while on "vacation" in Rome, Italy. He was 51.
10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.085787#5#812085
Dolce and Gabbana design new fashion line
Italian fashion designers Dolce and Gabbana, recently convicted of tax evasion and facing prison time, have launched a new line of apparel for "inmates who want to look stylish."
10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.079294#6#891016
Obesity a disease
Bowing to pressure from First Lady Michelle Obama, the AMA voted to declare obesity a disease, calling for Michael Moore's execution, even as it vastly increased its potential patient population.
10#8514#Bureau#41445.0450347#7#46866
Afghan government to shun US talks with Taliban
Also Amish, Mennonites, Quakers, Extraterrestrials.
10#8514#Bureau#41445.0374653#8#893141
New Virus Found in Middle East Could Be Deadlier Than SARS!
Apparently it starts by dulling your brain and spreads rapidly and you're dead within 24 hours but I don't care. Hah Hah Hah!
10#8514#Bureau#41444.9170833#9#138475
President Has Fool-Proof Plan For Huge Debt
It was announced today that in August of this year the U.S. and Chinese Presidents will meet to discuss huge American debt. Mr. Obama will be taking guests Ben Bernanke and Bernie Madoff with him.
10#8514#Bureau#41444.9115856#10#786031
Several IRS Agents May Get Stiff Sentences
Over one hundred agents plead guilty of spying and ask to be shipped to Montego Bay for rest of their lives.
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