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10#8514#Bureau#41444.5388889#1#639535

Gov't crackdown continues in Turkey!

Armed police say they will quit water blasts and tear gas bombs and begin going straight after their giblets if they don't settle down.

10#8514#Bureau#41444.5366667#2#766637

Afghanistan: Nato Security Handover Marked by Deadly Blast

Afghan military Leader apologizes. "We eat a lot of fiber here."

10#8514#Bureau#41444.5344329#3#949630

BAKED ALASKA: Anchorage sets heat record!

Lifeguards report that huge blubber slick is starting to become a water hazard.

10#8514#Bureau#41444.5323611#4#610638

Hey-O! Taliban is ready for peace talks!

The Taliban in Afghanistan say they are finally ready for peace talks. "However, the first joker with that 'Mr. Taliban tally me banana' song and we're ready for a hundred more years of fighting."

10#8514#Bureau#41444.5289699#5#269034

POLL: Americans Don't Trust Newspapers, TV News

POLL: Majority of Americans Don't Trust Newspapers, TV News, Radio Talk Shows, Neighborhood Gossipers, Polls!

10#8514#Bureau#41444.5265625#6#815295

NPR Shows New Facility

NPR Shows Off New Facility: Wellness center, café, beehives on roof, free range chickens everywhere you looked. "Better watch where you sit" Presenter laughs.

10#8514#Bureau#41444.5240162#7#527808

Putin Pleased

Russian President Putin told the press that he thought his staring contest with President Obama went well. Putin spoke to reporters while riding a shark.

10#8514#Bureau#41444.5206134#8#951354

REPORT: IRS to pay $70 MILLION in employee bonuses

"They work hard for your money", says White House Spokesman. "I would have liked for it to have been more but there's all the eavesdropping equipment we had to purchase."

10#9766#Jaggedone#41444.31125#9#518062

Lady Gaga is in love!

With a figment of a complete and utter nutter's imagination!

10#8514#Bureau#41444.0609028#10#700086

Circus Circus

Crowds in Las Vegas astounded as clown folds ordinary dollar bill into poodle.

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