Screen Name: Justin Thyme
Justin Thyme has published 8 items on The Spoof.
Check out Justin Thyme's:
Latest Spoof News Story: Wednesday 4th April 2007
Spoofing since: Tuesday 6th March 2007
Location: Here and there
Profile: I began my life as my father and his father before him - as a Shepherd. I decided, however, that justin Thyme was catchier than Justin Shepherd so I changed my name.
In a remote village in Israel I began my trade - selling unleavened bread to villagers. I made no money so I endeavoured to boost sales by advertising my product. I wrote several ads and placed them in conspicuous locations around the village and waited for the cash to start flowing. It didn't. Apparently Corned beef on rye is tastier than corned beef on hardtack.
One day this fellow approached me and said I wrote excellent ads. I was very excited and asked how many loaves he wanted. He said, "none - but you write well." Clearly defeated he then said I should concentrate on a new approach to sales and that I could find the answer within myself. His name was Cane and I found him to be full of crap.
With that I began packing up my breads and in doing so put a bottle of Evian on one. Much to my surprise the bread absorbed the condensation from the cool water and protected my end table. Turns out old Cane wasn't a crazy yutz after all and there was my new product. Since they sogged out after one use I came up with the idea of disposable coasters. I got right to work with the new ad campaign and sales soard! I now have enough money to last the rest of my life - as long as I die next week.
Justin Thyme hasn't written anything in a while, so his/her news feed is seriously out of date!
If you want the latest up-to-the-minute spoof news, check out all our rss feeds.
While you're here, why not check our other Top Writers?
And if you've still got time on your hands, consider joining us as a writer, and make up your very own news stories!
Navy commissions U.S.S. Donald J. TrumpA very shallow draft vessel that carries several tons of baggage, it's an old design that tends to list severly to the right and is virtually unsteerable.
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!