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Angelina Jolie Leaves Brad Pitt for Jeniffer Aniston

"I'm devastated!" said Brad. "I had no idea!!"

Sarah Palin and Dan Quayle to Form Vice Party

Palin and Quayle will promise to endorse anyone who will appoint them to ANYTHING.

Bill Clinton Admits He's Voting for Trump

"It's bad enough now living with her.Can you imagine how it'd be if she was President?" he admitted.

Hillary Has Caught a Virus from Her E-Mail Accounts

The virus was tracked down and found to be from <classified>.

Trump Will Build a Wall on Mars to Keep Martians from Invading Earth

And he will make the Martians pay for the wall!

Dangerous Drinking Game Grips Nation

Countless hospitalized drinking to Trump speeches:

1 drink beer: "tremendous" "huge" "so fast, believe me"

1 drink hard alcohol: "there is something going on"

EPA Called in To US Election

Violations of the Clean Air Act and identification of a mobile brownfield site containing a "hazardous substance, pollutant, or contaminant" has kicked the agency into emergency response mode.

Trumpkins are on Their Way

As Halloween approaches the US braces itself for minions of carved pumpkins in the likeness of Donald Trump.

"Step Out of the Shower and Put Down the Toaster"

Suicide Hotlines have seen a dramatic surge in calls since polls have shown Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton to be in a tight race.

Desperate Cosby Lawyers Play the "Race Card"

This is in spite of the fact that Cosby once told blacks to stop blaming race for their troubles.

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