Screen Name: Minty Fruitbat
Minty Fruitbat has published 1 item on The Spoof.
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Latest Spoof News Story: Sunday 23rd December 2012
Spoofing since: Sunday 23rd December 2012
Location: Sainsbury's Parking Lot
Profile: Minty Fruitbat is the son and daughter of a Cornish Farmer called Colin Piles and his half sister Ken.
Born at a Wednesday of 1963 from the moment he/she took his/her first breath he/she was destined to be remembered by all.
Educated at the Llyods-Cowell school for fat people who think they have talent but really don't and, anyway, if they even got remotely famous they'd only spend the money on McDonald's and then whine about their weight in Heat magazine (or BGT for short) Minty could often be found playing the role of Iain Duncan-Smith the Aardvark in the school's production of "SCROUNGER!! The Story Of An Average Dole Type Person"
It was this brief brush with the world of acting that led Minty to a career in Chicken Baiting and, as a result, he/she/it was offered the role of a lamppost in Shane Meadows 1901 movie "Ey-Up It's Bloody Grim Where I Live"
But fame is a fickle beast and, after a panning by critics for his/her/shim's part in the James Cameron flop "Chuckie Egg - A True Story", Minty quit showbiz to pursue a career in the written word.
After several failed publications (including "For a good time please ring 14523232325" - published by Brixton City Centre toilet walls) Minty's big break came with the book "My Life as A Ham Sandwich" a chronicle of the up's and downs of everyday life at Aldi. The book went on to sell 1.3 copies and is regarded by critics as "The best toilet paper my arse has ever seen".
Now working as a freelance writer for such publications as "Sponge" & new celebrity magazine "Nanananana - You Got Fat!!" Minty has much more time to pursue his life long passion for Brillo Pads.
Minty Fruitbat hasn't written anything in a while, so his/her news feed is seriously out of date!
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Feeling OldI got the results back from my Telomere kit to find out how old I was in Teloyears, and discovered that I've been dead since 2007. Bummer.
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