Screen Name: Paxton Quigley
Paxton Quigley has published 118 items on The Spoof and is currently ranked 10th in the top writers table.
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Latest Spoof News Story: Monday 16th July 2018
Spoofing since: Saturday 2nd June 2012
Location: Omnipresent, oh ok then London
Profile: A left wing libertarian atheist, a republican, anti-racist, anti-bigot and internationalist.
Left wing libertarian? We should all work together for the common good to create a better society and share the proceeds, but I'm not going to tell you what to do. Make your own choice. Ooh, is that a bit socialist for you?
Atheist? If I were to believe in a mythical "supreme being" where would it all end? I would then have to believe in witchcraft, pixies, elves, homeopathy, Brexit, Tottenham Hotspur and all other sorts of weird things. Do me a favour.
Republican? Why should a collection of Greek-German-Scottish inbreds and retards hold sway over me by dint of birth? I am as patriotic as the next person, but I draw the line at not being able to become my country's head of state and will not bow to those simpletons. It's illegal in the UK to call for the dissolution of the monarchy. So arrest me.
Anti-racist and anti-bigot? There is but one race: the human race and why be so worried about other people's sexual proclivities? We should live and let live.
Internationalist? No Little Englander me. Brexiteers, Europhobes go take a running jump. Don't tell me you want to "take back control" then try to muzzle our sovereign parliament, you hypocrites. There's a whole world out there, engage with it.
Currently unavailable for bar mitzvahs and sexual shenanigans.
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