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10#8514#Bureau#41618.0520718#1#202595

Frankenfoods: Protect Yourself From Hidden Dangers

FDA says: Buy nothing eatable while overseas nor bring it here. "They are always checking our foods but they eat dogs & horses. Now they're mixing squirrels & skunks. Remember, you are what you eat.

10#14641#Al N.#41618.0497569#2#989750

North Korea Asks Walmart to Help Organize Labor Camps

Kim Jong Un asked Walmart to help organize North Korea's labor camps and sweat shops today, in a new level of cooperation between a despotic Communist country and a domineering American corporation.

10#8514#Bureau#41617.9430556#3#84968

Organic Milk High in Helpful Fatty Acids, Study Finds

For the latest in fatty acids, please check out your local Walmart. You'll see them easily enough.

10#8514#Bureau#41617.9400463#4#969626

FDA approves $1,000-a-day hepatitis C pill

Or, save some money by purchasing FDA approved $20,000 a month special, now through next June 30th!

10#8514#Bureau#41617.9346875#5#685733

Ex-San Diego mayor sentenced to home confinement

"Do you mean to tell me that every time I walk into the house he'll be sitting there?", asks wife. "Why do I have to be punished for something HE did?"

10#8514#Bureau#41617.9328356#6#338680

18 LA sheriff's deputies arrested in jail abuse probe

"We are now hiring for the next three months", says Sheriff. "Come on down and fill in an application!"

10#8514#Bureau#41617.9312847#7#384293

Torre, Cox, La Russa elected to Baseball Hall of Fame

While Nellie Fox and several others make it into the Baseball Hall of Phlegm!

10#8514#Bureau#41617.9297222#8#365613

Federal government sells remaining stake in GM

"And we have split it evenly between Germany and Japan!", says spokesman.

10#8514#Bureau#41617.9271181#9#560248

Woman's Christian Temperance Union targeting pot

"We're for flushing everything, all alcohol right down the pot!", says President.

10#8514#Bureau#41617.9097106#10#290986

NASA: Ancient Martian lake may have supported life

Could have also supported Nessie's ancestors.

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