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10#8514#Bureau#41443.8169907#1#217298
Nation Mourns Death of Serial Killer
"There's nothing on television, rotten movies, sex has gotten boring, tired of seeing youth with rings through their digits!", admits several at Jim's Bar & Girl.
10#8514#Bureau#41443.8109838#2#255619
Bear Hires Great Lawyer
Man who was recently attacked by bear could face serious charges, changes!
10#8514#Bureau#41443.8042824#3#845315
US, Taliban to start talks on ending Afghan war!
Most expect United States to make same deal as USSR, ten other nations before them.
10#8514#Bureau#41443.7709375#4#759439
Civil War Finally Over
In an effort to bring our nation together the descendants of Union & Confederate soldiers met in Washington today. The Union apologized for burning Atlanta, the Rebs apologized to Mrs. O'Leary's cow.
10#8514#Bureau#41443.7565162#5#118797
Obama: This Is Very Taxing
Tea Party Patriots: 'The largest Tea Party protest since 2010 is tomorrow' as one mousey little CPA keeps yelling "Treacle! More Treacle!"
10#8514#Bureau#41443.7485069#6#357548
Feds: Snooping foiled stock exchange plot!
Also, 3 couples in Presto, N.M. on 10th street aren't really married, Ms Dye of Brawny, Indiana wears falsies & Joe Don Moleturd of Rough River, Ky. now needs three 20MG. Levitra to do the trick.
10#8514#Bureau#41443.7424653#7#34374
Is President Being Taken Advantage Of?
Obama announces extra $300 million in 'life-saving' aid for Syrians, Hittites, Shuhites and Jebusites.
10#8514#Bureau#41443.7394329#8#708210
Miss Utah Gets New Question
Miss Utah gets a second chance to answer 'confusing' question: "Are Mormon men still beating their wives?"
10#8514#Bureau#41443.6483912#9#1043132
"Won't Even Wear Full-Cover Veils
Barbra Streisand slams treatment of women in Israel. Nose now all the way down past chin.
10#8514#Bureau#41443.6446991#10#692247
Obama On Syria
Obama: "Very easy to slip-slide into deeper Syrian involvement. In fact, the nearer your destination the more you're slip-sliding away." Does a little dance.
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