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10#8514#Bureau#41444.7660069#1#853515

News From DC

The proposed new immigration bill is more than a thousand pages long. Foes plan to write a 2,000 page alternative. If anyone ever tries to write one on a filibuster, it should be finished by 2099.

10#8514#Bureau#41444.7615278#2#78755

Former Iran President Gets Warning

Drone without explosive carries pop-out not that tells former Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad "Yes, Mahmoud, there really is an Israel".

10#8514#Bureau#41444.7533912#3#966797

Vatican to announce John Paul II 'miracle'

Many think it concerns pope's once turning wine into water.

10#8514#Bureau#41444.6855671#4#718445

Afghan leader backs away from Taliban talks

"My head can't do much talking without a body under it", states Hamid Karzai.

10#8514#Bureau#41444.6698611#5#10128

Brain-Eating Amoeba Warning in Florida

After a long stay in Washington, DC, Brain-Eating Amoeba are beginning to show up in Florida.

10#8514#Bureau#41444.6650231#6#430974

'Happy Birthday to You' Copyright Suit Filed in NY

Tanyard, Kentucky man claims grandfather wrote the original version, entitled "Happy Birthday To You All".

10#8514#Bureau#41444.6602431#7#931730

Morris the Cat Runs for Mayor of Mexican City

Former mayor Speedy Gonzalas says Morris will run away with the Xalapa vote.

10#8514#Bureau#41444.6571181#8#424448

Minnesota Mother,Son Steal Gopher Feet!

A Minn. mother & her 18-yr-old son are accused of stealing nearly $5,000 in frozen gopher feet & selling them in St. Paul. Since changing from the dollar, gopher feet are now worth $2.56 in exchange.

10#8514#Bureau#41444.6503125#9#693629

Air France-KLM Orders 25 Wide-Body Airbus A350s

"No one on earth can build wide bodies like the Americans", says spokesman.

10#9766#Jaggedone#41444.648588#10#784791

Arnie alias Conan "Terminates" at 65!

Yes, OAP, Arnie Schwarzenegger, puts himself to the sword and Terminates riding his Zimmerframe! Bruce Willis up next!

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