Written by P.M. Wortham
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: WHO, Cucumbers, E-Coli, Danish

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

image for European Cucumber E-Coli Source Found and Resolved
Yummy. Have they been washed?

World Health Organization teams quickly deployed out to farms and packaging plants to determine the source of the tainted tubers, and have reported a successful intervention in the inspection, cleaning and packaging methods of at least two major fresh produce distributors.

Investigator Marcello Lentini tells reporters, "We are confident that we have discovered the questionable methods of picking, cleaning and packaging the cucumbers and that those issues have been resolved".

When asked for more details about the tainted cucumbers in particular, Lentini responded, "We feel that if some of the new cucumber inspectors would stop testing them for uniform smoothness and roundness on each other, the problem will simply deflate". While some reporters assumed a pained look on their faces while others had vocalized a sound like "Ew", Lentini added, "And, yes. The testing process is exactly as disgusting as might imagine".

Publishing new inspection and packaging procedures, Lentini added, "We should look into pickle processing as well. Some do prefer smaller packages after all".

Make P.M. Wortham's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 4?

7 9 6 4

Go to top