Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 26 May 2011

image for Gaddafi's New Hat Modeled from Johnny Depp's Pirate Wardrobe
Gaddafi trying to climb rigging, yo ho.

Sporting attractive new headwear, Colonel Gaddafi was seen at a press conference yesterday wearing a bejeweled red bandanna, that looked suspiciously like the one worn in the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie by Johnny Depp.

While busy asking the Spanish government to please stop bombing the places where he was known to sleep, Gaddafi kept flicking the medallion attached to his bandanna, while occasionally tossing in a "Yo Ho" as a means to verbally punctuate the end of a sentence.

NATO analysts were busy trying to determine if there was supposed to be some hidden message with the noted change of headwear, or if this was just one more confirmation that Gaddafi was completely off his rocker. "We think he may have been reaching out to the West, while, perhaps looking for a career change as well", says NATO psychologist, Constance Noring. "In his mind, he may have been auditioning for a pirate role in the next installment of the movie series".

Partial confirmation was received when at least three Hollywood acting agencies received a resume and a series of head shots from a man calling himself Murray Gaddy, though it was clearly Gaddafi. His preference for movie roles included "Bad pirate, evil dictator, terrorist leader, tax collector or New York cab driver".

"As absolutely ridiculous and assumptive as that sounds, he would be uniquely qualified for any of those roles", says Noring. "I could really see him as a pirate actually. But of course, there's that whole war crimes thing that might just get in the way".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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