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Sunday, 22 May 2011

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Pope Benedict XVI has become embroiled in a scandal after it emerged that he may have tried to evade punishment for speeding during his vist to Scotland last September.

Sources close to Strathclyde Police have reported that the a senior inspector in the force is investigating claims that he asked a member of the public to take points on their licence after the Popemobile was caught speeding in Bellahouston Park on September 16th.

According to the anonymous source, the police record states that "Its alleged that on the evening of September 16, 2010, one Pope Benedict XVI, while travelling in a modified Mercedes Benz M class sport utility vehicle, was recorded driving in a public recreation area known as Bellahouston Park at a speed in excess of 5 miles per hour - the maximum allowable speed in the confines of the park is 4 miles per hour.

Furthermore, when the accused was questioned about the alleged incident later that evening, the person in question submitted a plea of mistaken identity and advised Strathclyde Police that the guilty party was in fact one Mario Ianetta, owner of The Cafe, 25 Tantallon Road, Shawlands".

Mr Ianetta was driving his ice cream van in Bellahouston Park at the same time as the Papal cortege and its alleged that the two vehicles were mixed up with each other".

Mr Ianetta has confirmed that it was indeed his Fiat Panda van that was the offending vehicle and that he was more than happy to take the hit on the licence as he had recently been led to believe that he "would enjoy eternal life".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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