Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 18 April 2011

image for Taj Mahal royal honeymoon is doomed warns Aishwarya Rai
Tragic karma suggests it could shrivel William's Big Dipper aspirations

Mumbai - Rumors that Kate and William are heading to India on honeymoon have been met with horror among Bollywood's astro-savvy elite.

"By all means take Kate on the ganja trail to Goa," Aishwarya Rai commented, "maybe even Kathmandu for the hashish bong hits.

"But if you value your fertility, Prince William, stay out of Agra during the zodiac power struggle this year - or your very own royal 'big dipper'** may shrivel to dust."

The Bollywood diva's warning comes amid newly published images of Princess Diana sitting alone outside the 17th century Mughal mausoleum in 1992.

"It probably accelerated her terrible Karma," Aishwarya added, "and remains a ghost that cannot be buried."

The green-eyed movie star and her husband Abhishek Bachchan famously turned down their royal wedding invite on astrological grounds and remain 'horrified' at UK Hellfire Club negligence over its timing.

"The same hideous aspects that dominated Diana's wedding in July now loom over the 29 April nuptials," Abhishek's tarot reader concurred.

"Someone is taking the piss."

** Hindu astrology calls the asterism the Sapta Rishi and in many parts of rural India it is known as the Samantha (Cameron?) formation.

Agra legend has it that the four stars of the dipper's bowl show a coffin and that the three stars in the handle are mourners, following a funeral cortege.

In Northern England it's sometimes called the Butcher's Cleaver and even Charlie's Wagon - after 17th century House of Windsor crack mules.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 3?

1 3 4 8

Go to top ^