Written by Morse
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Wednesday, 13 April 2011

image for Iceland Phallogical Museum Beseiged with Potential Donations, But the Competition is Stiff, Says Curator!
Siggy & His Curators Remove Yet Another Whale Penis for His Collection!

Interest in Iceland's Phallogical Musuem (that's PENIS to you Brit Readers) has gone viral with the announcement they have received their first human donation from a local 95 year old man. Incidentally the man was dead when the appendage was surgically removed for those of you still waiting patiently to be circumcised by the NHS.

The museum ,dedicated to the male reproductive organ, was opened over 15 years ago by local resident Sigurdur Hjartarson and is now located in the small fishing village of Husavik and draws a horde of tourists every year for whale watching expeditions as well as a puerile peek at Sigurdur's Penile collection .

Siggie said he has always been drawn to Penises ever since he was given a cattle herding whip made of a dried and flayed Bull's Penis. Over the years his collection of penis related curiosities continued to grow through gifts from fisherman and hunters until he finally opened the museum with 62 specimens.

So far the centerpiece of his collection is a 67" penis from a rightly named Sperm Whale.

Included in his collection is a donation from a Canadian Proctologist who sent him
an 'extremely large Walrus Penis" found during a routine exam on a patient from Newfoundland," according to the note accompanying the specimen from Dr. Victor Nicholas, PhD.

Among the curiosities at the museum are lamp shades made from bull testicles and a plethora of other 'penis related craft items' according to the museum brochure.

Outside the modest building there is a rather large sculpture of an erect phallus carved from a dead tree trunk which is popular for camera toting tourists flying in on cheap tours on RyanAire. "Most of them are drunk by the time they get here,' said a bemused Siggie, 'but the laddets all seem to get off onnit and want their pictures taken with it."

Siggie says he's got pledges of more human penises now that he's finally broken the ice.
"I got an inquiry from some bloke in Manchester said he'd be interested if I'd put his in a pint of Stella .....said he liked the idear that his dick would still be floating around with a head onnit after he was gone!"

Apparently Siggie has had some E-mail inquiries about the qualifications to get into the museum. " Just the other day I got a picture of Brett Farve's penis asking if it qualified for the Penis Hall of Fame. Gotta be honest with ya....up here the Puffins have a bigger dick than his...and they don't shrink up in the cold, neither, bet yer arse!"

Siggie has become quite a celebrity in the little town of 75 year round residents.
On his office wall he has pictures posing with such celebrities as Elton John, Lady Ga Ga,
Simon Cowell (on a talent search), Susan Boyle who was interested in his collection of whale tonsils, and the entire Mayor and Council from San Francisco, California.

While Iceland's financial institutions have all recently failed leaving a bunch of international banks holding the bag (sic), Siggie said deposits in the Museum's sperm bank are still safe...'we're extremely fluid and have built up quite a residual of liquid assets...no risky real estate investments for us...no sir....we may have our ups and downs, but Penises...well sir, they always rise to the occasion sooner than later...I like a solid investment you can wrap your hands around and know you've really got somethin'....like my wife said, 'you can keep your derivatives and hedge funds, the dividends from a stiff dick just keep coming!"

You can contact Siggie at: biggdick&scrotom.com

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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