Written by Aspartame Boy
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Saturday, 2 April 2011

image for Cube shaped sumo wrestler rescued
The girl friend is no relation to Sarah Palin

Tokyo - A terminally fat Sumo Wrestler was in the hospital yesterday according to neighbors who found him fused to the wallpaper of his bedroom.

His girlfriend had been feeding the man uncooked rice flavored with aspartame. Such rice has more calories per bite than cooked rice, and normally swells when it is cooked. The uncooked rice caused the man to swell instead.

The girlfriend first became worried about the man's health when she became unable to enter his room because his lips were blocking the door.

The man had not left the room in ten years before surgeons were called to the scene to cut the room from around the now cube shaped man.

The highly skilled workers resorted to using the latest technology to free the man from the room, including a steam wallpaper remover.

The house was totally destroyed in the process.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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