Fucushima, Japan-- A stunning two-minute video taken by a US Air Force reconnaissance helicopter of the damaged nuclear reactors in Japan is shocking the world tonight. The video appears to show the Virgin Mary. She is shown inside the reactor core, and she is weeping. It could be the most ominous development so far in the week old crisis.
Plant officials insist the video is just billowing blue steam, floating around inside the damaged reactors. They insist that it is, at best, only a simulacrum, and no different than seeing Elvis's face on a tuna-fish sandwich.
Devout Roman Catholics insist the video really shows the Virgin Mary. They see the Virgin inside the reactor, crying hysterically, and she seems to be praying. Some of the devout even see cherubim and seraphim buzzing around her veiled head.
An expert analysis of the videotape seems to supprt the claims of the devout. New analysis of the Virgin Mary's image seems to show she is saying three words over and over again...
"You stupid fucks! YOU STUPID FUCKS!