Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 20 March 2011

image for Christina Aguilera Messes Up The Venezuelan National Anthem At A Soccer Match In Caracas And President Hugo Chavez Has Her Arrested
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez' Presidential Palace nicknamed "La Casa Mucho Oil."

CARACAS, Venezuela - Many years ago Linda Ronstadt sang a song titled, "Poor Poor Pitiful Me." And that song could easily become Christina Aguilera's theme song what with her string of bad luck that she has been through lately.

First she flubs the words to the "Star Spangled Banner" at Super Bowl XLV in Dallas, then a week later she almost falls of the stage at The Grammy Award Show, and now she has just messed up the lyrics to the Venezuelan National Anthem at a soccer match in Caracas.

Aguilera, who had been booked by Venezuela's El Oro Negro Talent Agency (The Black Gold Talent Agency) was embarrassed beyond belief and she blamed the word flubbing on the fact that she had not eaten anything in the previous 24 hours.

When asked by the Venezuelan authorities why she had gone 24 hours without eating ChrisAg shrugged her shoulders and replied that she was just very nervous at performing before one of the world's most famous president's Hugo Chavez.

Apparently President Hugo Chavez was not impressed as he ordered Federal police to arrest Ms. Aguilera and transport her to the maximum security Federal prison at Sabana Grande (Big Sheet).

Christina Aguilera has not been allowed to hire an attorney. The laws in Venezuela are pretty much the opposite of what they are in the United States of America.

In Venezuela, you are considered guilty until proven innocent instead of like in America where you are innocent until proven guilty.

Aguilera in an act of desperation emailed President Hugo Chavez and told him that she would be willing to write him a check for $100,000 if he released her immediately. He responded by saying no and that he was going to tack on some more time for trying to bribe him.

She then told him that she would provide him and Mrs. Hugo Chavez with lifetime front row seats to all of her future concerts. And again President Chavez said no and again he informed her that he was going to tack on some more time for her second attempt at trying to bribe him.

Christina then told him that she would let him personally take half a dozen photos of her in the nude. He thought about it for a few moments and asked her that if by nude she meant completely nude.

She replied, "As a friggin jaybird."

He asked if she would autograph them as well. And she replied that she would autograph them, kiss each one, and even hold them all up against her tata's.

The national news agency Noticias de Venezuela (News of Venezuela) reported that President Chavez had Aguilera released from prison and transported to the Simon Bolivar House of Photography Shop located three blocks from the Presidential Palace, La Casa Mucho Oil.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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