Prime Minister David Cameron has announced he will send two fairies to Libya to help British citizens stranded abroad in Libya return home.
Sir Elton John said he has offered to fly to Tripoli to sing Candle in the Wind to those seeking to escape as well as pat down handsome young men leaving via air at the city's major airport.
Not to be outdone George Michael has announced he will chauffeur Sir Elton around and sing Faith a capella to angry crowds to calm them down after which he will volunteer to patrol public washrooms during the evening for miscreants to prevent any untoward lewd acts from transpiring during the chaos.
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