Written by Hazmatt
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Friday, 18 February 2011

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Australia - In a surprise move, the newly outlawed motorcycle club 'The Fairies' have taken over the turf of Western Australian clubs the 'Coffin Cheaters' and the 'Finks'.

The Fairies president confirmed the bold move saying they had simply taken advantage of rival feuding between the Cheaters and the Finks, and that the take-over was a "shoe-in".

The fairies have gained notoriety since their formation for dressing in pink ballerina outfits while riding their bikes and during the commission of violent crime.

One of their victims, speaking under conditions of anonymity described the terror he felt the night his house got firebombed.

"I was sitting in my lounge enjoying a good toke - as you do - when I heard the sound of maybe half a dozen motorbikes in my drive. I looked out the window and when I saw the pink, I knew that they had come for me. They asked me if I wanted a ride, I said 'no' so they rode me anyway and then burnt the house down with molotovs. I've never been able to sit on my ass since."

This story is one of many becoming the daily norm here in Western Australia, where men were once safe walking the streets. Men are now being advised not to leave their house after dark and to avoid shopping malls where pink dresses may blend in to the crowd.

The latest spate of violence in pink has led one psychologist to comment "pink may well become the new colour of sexual aggression."

She reports a massive increase in her case load of men who are now too terrified to leave their house for fear they may see the colour pink. One man, suffering from psychotic PTSD had to repaint his entire house because he believed the house was pink.

Police have been blamed for the rising levels of violence plaguing the state, and accused of turning a blind eye to the latest developments. The spokesman for the police department declined to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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