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Sunday, 13 February 2011

image for Keeping to His Tradition of Supporting Dictators, Cheney Comes Out In Favor Of Mubarak
A former Egyptian leader also as inflexible as Mubarak

The big lizard has slithered out of his lair for another comment. Let's print it big just like it was in the headlines so that it won't be mistaken: CHENEY COMES OUT IN SUPPORT OF MUBARAK

Wow, what a surprise! Mr. American dictator comes out in support of a buddy dictator. I guess there must be a strong social network there. Just like Hitler being bosom buddies with Mussolini, Franco and Stalin. Birds of a feather flock together.

Cheney praised his political pal- "Now there's a man who knows how to run a country! Put those journalists down and made it look like he was doing them a favor. Send in plainclothesmen to slap them around a bit, handcuff and blindfold them, take them to a undisclosed holding tank and throw them in. Don't tell them who you are, keep them in suspense and tell them that you are doing it to protect them. Smooth operator!"

"The snipers on the bridge was a classic move. Put them in a position where no one could see who they are, again making them plainclothesmen, then have them occasionally pick off some one in the crowd and make it look like they were loose cannons. Capital job! I wish we could get away with that in this country. Bush and I would have gotten twice as much done without the pinkos bitching about every little infringement."

"The man is also a damned good businessman. They estimate he's managed to stow away 40 to 70 billion dollars for himself in the 30 years he's been king....er, I mean President. Image how much booty I'd have put away if I'd been Emperor....er, Vice President for that long!"

It was then that Cheney made his classic statement that will echo down with his legacy for the rest of American History- "There is a reason why a lot of diplomacy is conducted in secret." That should be etched in stone. Coming from Mr. Undisclosed Location himself it packs a lot of punch. Why let the people of a democratic country that you lead know about the choices you are making that affect them? That's for sissies.

Mr. Cheney then summed up his feelings. " We don't have many middle eastern dictators on our side unfortunately. We could sure use more of them." Of course we hung the last Arab buddy of ours; someone by the name of ….. I think it was Saddam something or other. Mr. Cheney has over looked that the Egyptian uprising is much like our American Revolution against the British for our freedom, but then that is an aspect of history that Mr. Cheney was never all that keen on.
Now that Mubarak is gone, Cheney was going to send him a message of condolence, but decided not to because he doesn't like to affiliate with losers.

Writers note- To be fair to Cheney, he did also say that there is a time for a leader to move on and that the ultimate decision lies with the Egyptian people. He did however mention that he is glad Guantanamo is still open, which robs of him of any Brownie points he might have accumulated.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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