Written by Charpa93
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Topics: France, Apocalypse

Saturday, 8 January 2011

image for Poodles Dropping Like Flies in France
This fly so happy to be alive, he's doing a jig

First it was fishes, then it was birds, now it's poodles. Thousands of standard poodles are dropping like flies in France. While miniature, tea cup, toy and other varieties of poodles seem to be thriving in France and other parts of the world, the standard or authentic "French" poodle seems to be a dying breed.

The French don't know what to make from the latest in apocalyptic-type die offs. Poodles have been found knee-deep on residential lawns, and the local animal control personnel have had their hands full keeping Paris motorways free of the large-bodied animals.

Scientists state that the large number of poodles dying has finally brought the reality of the situation to a head for people all over the world. Hugh Dunnit, chief necrologist for the World Health Organization (WHO), had this to say:

"When fish started dying off, people were concerned but most rationalized that fish really don't feel pain and they (the people) went on with their lives. When birds started dropping out of the sky, more people took notice and many bird lovers were a bit more reactionary, especially hearing about the death of turtle doves in Italy, but still, even with the combined events of both animal species, most went about their daily routines with little more than an odd comment here and there.

However, when poodles started dying," said Dunnit, "that is the event that got people to finally wake up and smell the fire and brimstone."

While the Bible really only ever mentioned frogs falling out of the sky as a sign of the end times, many religious leaders believe that a huge die off of French poodles is somehow the ultimate sign of the end times. They believe this is so because for decades, the French poodle has been the most beloved dog species in the world. And while owners of German shepherds, English Bulldogs, and even Alaskan Huskies would disagree, those owners are just glad their breeds have been spared the ugliness of this latest apocalyptic event.

Ed. Note: Apologies to Poodle lovers and owners. Making a point about how some humans treasure one species over another is all. Flies? Meh, no biggie.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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