Written by Jsmith
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Topics: Japan, World War II

Monday, 15 August 2005

image for Japan Apologizes for World War II,  and then starts World War III
Japanese paratroopers deploy over Taiwan

TOKYO (Reuters) - Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi marked the 60th anniversary of Japan's defeat in World War Two on Monday with an apology for suffering caused by Japanese military aggression and pledged that Tokyo would never again go to war.

Hours later, that pledge was broken when Japanese warships fired on Chinese oil-exploration vessels near the disputed Senkaku/Diaoyutai Islands. The Chinese response was swift, and massive: Cruise missiles launched from the Chinese mainland began striking Japanese targets within minutes. Russian-built Chinese Su-27's appeared over Japanese territory, and only a couple of them were shot down by U.S.-built Japanese F-15s.

Plus, China invaded Taiwan, and North Korea invaded South Korea.

As expected, the United States did not stay aloof from the widening Asian conflict, and after first delivering an ultimatum to Beijing which was ignored, staged a submarine-launched pre-emptive nuclear missile strike against China, including the cities of Beijing, Shanghai, and Peking.

Outraged, China launched all 17 of the nuclear ICBMs they've admitted to having, and then also rolled out and launched the eighteen thousand other ICBMs which had been assembled and stored in caves over the years.

A latecomer to the British and American tactic of launching missiles at other nations, many of the Chinese ICBMs missed their mark or fell harmlessly in the ocean, causing nothing except a huge plopping sound.

Unlike during World War II, Japan is generally not being criticized for aggression, bullying and imperialistic design. Instead, letters and emails of support are pouring in, especially from admiring Americans and also formerly-oppressed Chinese workers who are no longer under the control of Communist bureaucrats in Beijing because as you remember Beijing was nuked.

Within a day of the Japanese initiating World War III, President Bush said in a televised speech that "this is a day that will live in famy."

Further widening the conflict, radical Jewish zealots blew up the Al Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem, Iran began blowing stuff up with enriched uranium, and Germany invaded itself by surprise, giving up without a fight.

Mexico has proven to be the wildest card in this particular world war. All other nations of the world continue to maintain friendly relations with Mexico, and so Mexico is supplying armaments to all sides, and making a killing in the process, sort of like Rhett Butler in 'Gone with the Wind.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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