London, England - Britain's Prince Harry says he will marry a common slut on April 28, the day before his brother's wedding. The younger prince says he means no disrespect to his elder brother and his betrothed, he simply "needs a good shag". The slut was identified as Ms. Vanilla Tramp, 25, from the East End of London.

Prince Harry says his wedding on April 28 will be much more exciting and egalitarian then Prince William's.

"There will be lots of singing, dancing, shagging, smoking weed and drinking. No bloody church for me and Vanilla!" said the excited young man. "It will be a people's wedding. I want to be known as the Peoples' Prince, in honour of my mum."

Ms. Tramp says she's very excited about joining the royal family. She still plans to work as a common street slut after the wedding, giving johns quick blow-jobs for 5 pounds each.

"Can't wait to meet his family, think I blew his Dad once." said the toothless, grinning slut. "Now, I can be a professional whore, and get some respect, maybe the Queen will make me a duchess or somethin'" she laughed.

When the Queen heard of her grandson's wedding plans, she only had three words to say...

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"