Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Sunday, 5 December 2010

image for Blather Resigns As FIFA President
You will vote for Qatar, or else...

After 12 years as the boss of FIFA (the F**king Football Association), Supp Blather has announced his resignation from the job, bringing to an end a stellar career which had such humble beginnings.

After graduating from university, Blather worked in public relations for his home town's sewerage treatment company, Schitaway. His first step towards sports administration was when he was tasked with painting the white lines on the running track at the 1972 and 1976 Olympics. Following this, he took a short break from the sports world, heading up the World Society of Friends of Suspenders, an organisation which tried to stop women replacing suspenders with pantyhose.

Returning to sports administration, Blather joined FIFA as Technical Director, before later being elected as General Secretary and President. He has consistently been surrounded by accusations of financial irregularity and mismanagement. Some have suggested that, when last elected as FIFA President, he purchased FIFA member votes for $100,000 a time. Blather has always laughed off such accusations and no evidence has ever been presented.

Blather will be remembered for bringing a new ethical structure to FIFA and for rendering the workings of the organisation truly transparent. One can now say, with some certainty, that you always get what you pay for with FIFA.

Blather leaves the organisation in good shape and is ready to take on his next challenge. His next appointment is understood to be as Director of Corporate Governance & Integrity at the Vatican Bank.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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