Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 30 November 2010

image for Cameron, Beckham and Wee Willy Windsor schmooze FIFA
Schmoozing FIFA with traditional arguments...

Switzerland - (Gnomes Of Zurich Mess): The tosspot trio landed in Cloud Cuckooclock Land today ahead of the 2018 World Cup announcement.

Billed as 'England's Finest!' their schmooze of bribery-accused FIFA officials promises discreet - and Wikileaks-proof - bungs.

Forget blood diamonds, bales of cocaine and signed pairs of Cheryl Cole used knickers.

What's on offer is 24-carat ringside seats to Wee Willy Windsor's Woyal Wedding.

"We think this will seal the deal," David Cameron's tarot reader said today.

"Nobody else's bung comes close - not even Russia's video of Anna Chapman Chapman shagging David Assange!"

FIFA's decision on Thursday sees bookmakers offer 2/1 on England, mostly because of all the royal wedding crap currently flying around the red tops.

But the decision is by no means a done deal and Qatar, North Korea and Saudi Arabia bids remain on the table.

A FIFA spokesman said today: "F**k off, you daftass Spoof bastards."

John Terry is 69.

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