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Wednesday, 24 November 2010

image for Joran van der Sloot Called as Character Witness in Amanda Knox Appeals Trial!
Knox/Van der Sloot Movie said to be 'cutting edge!'

The Italian appeals trial for America's "Foxy" Knoxy was thrown into confusion today when Knox's defense attorney called on Serial Woman Killer Joran van der Sloot to appear as a character witness!

Almost three years to the day since Amanda Knox and her Italian boy toy Raffaele Sollecito were sentenced to lengthly terms of incarceration over the killing of her english roommate in what was sensationally called "Sex Games Gone Wild," Amanda, sporting her trademark impish grin was back in court.

While the defense continues to claim the Italian investigators bungled the case and the only reason Amanda was detained was because she refused the advances of Italy's serial womanizer, PM Silvio Berlusconi, no stranger to bizarre sex games himself.

Berlusconi, who has been known to hold a grudge when he doesn't get what he wants to satisfy his insatiable Don Juan needs, allegedly offered Knox a plea bargain deal if she would confess to involuntary manslaughter in exchange for granting her probation and a cabinet position in his government.

Meanwhile, Knox is said to be getting more depressed behind bars, despite twice a week conjugal visits from adoring European Suitors, and being given a prestige job in he kitchen slicing garlic cloves with a single edge razor as she continues her training to be a sous chef.

Van der Sloot, another darling of the US press and TV talk show hosts, is said to be 'over the moon' about his chances to be escorted from his Peruvian jail cell where he is being held on murder charges of a young girl in his hotel room, when she discovered he had also been suspected of killing missing spring breaker Natalee Holloway 5 years to the day he celebrated the anniversary by killing her.

Complicating Joran's appearance in the Italian court, is the fact that Aruba officials have recently discovered a female jaw bone off it's scenic beaches, and while it was proved it wasn't that of Natalee, lead investigator Hans
DeBeck says "We have a bone to pick with Joran....we think he might know where the rest of the body might be buried!"

Van der Sloot has promised to confess to at least 24 murders of missing young American spring breakers in exchange for cash, but so far, even though he has earned over $400k for his shocking statements, not one of the missing victims have been found, including Amelia Earhart.

Courtroom spectators say Van der Sloot's appearance in the trial was probably a 'last ditch effort' by Knox to win her freedom, but the two have been exchanging letters, nude pictures, and poems for the past two years, and it will be a chance for the two star crossed lovers to meet face to face for the first time.

There are rumours that movie buffs Kim Jung il and Hugo Chavez are interested in producing an x rated movie telling the pair's story, and Oliver Stone has tentatively agreed to direct it.

Kim says he wants Lindsay Lohan to play Amanda, and will cover her insurance bond, and Sean Penn says after reading the rough draft of the script detailing Van der Sloot's character, is determined to play Joran.

"Hey man," said Sean, " that Dude is more ME than ME...finally a character where I can just be myself!"

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