Monday evening, something launched approximately 35 miles off the California coast. A news helicopter even filmed the rocket-like contrail rising like an arced pillar in the sunset. If seeing is believing, there was definitely a rocket launch of some description.
However, no one is claiming responsibility. The U.S. military seems baffled, U.S. airspace was not notified of any commercial satellite launches, no regional Air Force bases had any launches planned and all we're left with are scores of theories as to what it might be.
An undisclosed source hinted that a Polish terrorist group, Al WOJO, may be responsible for outfitting and stealing the early nuclear J-Class submarine that was in the mothball fleet near Long Beach.
An Eleventh Naval District source verified that a "submarine of somekind" may have broken loose from its moorings, and may have floated out to sea, or may have in fact, been stolen. "We have so many there it is difficult to keep track of all of them."
Andrzejek Wojoweiski, spokesman for Al WOJO, when contacted in Gdansk, stated, "It is possible that one of AL WOJO's Yellow Op groups borrowed a submarine from the United States Navy, and further possible that shortly after it got underway and submerged that when the temperature started dropping in the submarine that a considerate Yellow Op agent named Vladimir Wadsinzzki, when looking for a heating source, may have seen a big red button which had FIRE on the face of it, thought it meant heat and pushed the button."
The Coast Guard is escorting the submarine back to the mothball fleet in Long Beach.