Written by Julian Shure
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Topics: Gay

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

William Vague, a totally unknown nobody, honest, *ahem*, has been seen holding hands with Ivri Levin whilst staying in Israel.

Ivri Levin is a gay Israeli rock singer that's most famous for his platinum album Better Nothing Than Anything.

An insider close to Ivri said William is absolutely smitten with Ivri and he can't stop texting him which is starting to worry Ivri.

He thinks William is getting a bit too obsessed.

William has threatened to head butt any of Ivri's previous partners and any male that looks at Ivri in a suggestive manner.

The insider who doesn't want to be named said William promised to come out of the closet at the end of his political term if Ivri carried on seeing him.

We contacted Ivri but he was unable to comment.

We also contacted William to comment, he said "How can I be gay? I've always had an issue with homosexuals" followed by "do you really want to hurt me, do you really want to make me cry?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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