Written by Chief Cheese
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Topics: Government, Italy

Sunday, 24 April 2005

image for Berlusconi forms Italy's 60th Anniversary Government
More troops? No. That bombed. How about dating a Bush twin? Wait-even I wouldn't go that far.

Rome-Silvio Berlusconi's government suffered yet another embarrassing political setback yesterday-they were all re-appointed to office. Berlusconi has re-formed his ex-government in to yet a new government, Italy's sixtieth in as many years.

Mr. Berlusconi and his entire Cabinet had resigned on Friday, in an attempt to avoid early re-elections. "I am very, very tired of this job," he told the Italian Press. "Please-Please let me resign. Really-I need a vacation. Seriously. I can't take any more of this."

Just prior to his reappointment, Berlusconi visited the Italian President Carlo Azeglio at the prison that has served as the President's home for the last 4 years. Berlusconi and Azeglio shook hands through the bars. "President Azeglio has given me his blessing," said Berlusconi. "Basically he made me an offer that I can't refuse. Literally."

Mr. Berlusconi's first attempt to be removed from office came when he decided to send 3000 crack Italian troops to Iraq as a part of the Coalition. "I cannot understand why this wasn't enough to make the Italian people want to hang me upside down from a meathook," said Berlusconi. "For some reason it didn't work. Italians really don't pay a lot of attention to what is going on in the World." Mr. Berlusconi then used his own media empire to propagate the notion through to the Italian electorate that he is a staunch ally of Mr. Bush, but so far that attempt has also been a failure. "I just really can't get their attention," said a distraught Berlusconi. "Finally I tried a new TV show called ‘Rome's most beautiful naked women' and about one minute in to the first episode, we switched ‘accidentally' to a video of George Bush and myself having dinner at the White House. There were lots of calls-but they all wanted to kill me. None suggested I leave the Government."

For the foreseeable future, Mr. Berlusconi will continue to be at the head of Italy's 60th Anniversary Government. Here are some of the other ministerial highlights:

Antonio Topo-Verme. Mr. Topo-Verme is the newly re-appointed Minister of Finance and Parking.

Dionicio Alitosis. Mr. Alitosis is the newly re-appointed Minister of Health.

Ricardo Ladro. Mr. Ladro reprises his role as the Minister of Revenue.

Marcello Sangue. Stays at his post as Minister of Defense.

Joachim Forte. Will stay in place as the Minister of Offense.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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