Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Religion, Bulgaria

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

image for Remains Of John The Baptist Found On Bulgarian Island
Idyllic sandy coves await you

Human remains, said to be those of St John the Baptist, who baptised Jesus, have been discovered on St Ivan Island near Bulgaria's southern Black Sea.

They were in a terrible state.

The head was missing, and may have been kept as a trophy by King Herod after his daughter, Salome, requested that Baptist be beheaded. Other bits and bobs were found in a wooden box.

One man, from the Eastern Orthodox Church said:

"This is a great day for Christianity and for Bulgaria. These are imperishable miraculous relics which have been left here on Earth for our own spiritual benefits, and to inject some interest into the flagging tourist economy around here."

St Ivan Island lies off the Southern Black Sea coast near Sozopol, a town rich in history and a popular tourist destination, although it has fallen on hard times of late.

Men with long white beards were quick to snuff out any rumours that the remains had been 'found' as a publicity stunt to attract God-bothering tourists to the site. One man, who looked a bit like a travel agent, said:

"There are some lovely beaches around here, we get 307 days of sunshine per year, and there is a great variety of exotic wildlife to see."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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