Written by Bertram Chapley
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Topics: Pakistan, rich

Monday, 18 April 2005

TORA BORA - PAKISTAN - Saudi born engineer and wanted terrorist Osama Bin Hidin has announced to the free world he has struck oil whilst digging new caves in the mountains around Tora Bora. Initial testing has determined that 200,000 barrels a day can be pumped out of the site.

George Bush has welcomed the discovery and is looking forward to the prospect of welcoming Osama back into the fold.

"Because of Mr. Osama's new found status and his oil we are prepared to forgive his past misdemeanours and offer him interim Presidency of the new Republic of Democratic Tora Bora. Full and free elections will be held in eighteen months and Mr. Osama will be offered an automatic place on the United Nations Security Council if we can unseat the Froggies." said an upbeat and grinning Mr. Bush.

"Mr. Osama will be asked to come over to the US for a full State visit and be given a guided tour of the Ground Zero Construction Project, something which Osama has been involved with over the last four years." announced George W.

Osama was initially involved with an attempt to redevelop the site as far back as 1993 but this got delayed after structural problems with the underground car park were discovered.

Osama successfully became involved in the demolition contract which was done in September 2001 with some technical assistance from the late Fred Dibnah. This was sponsored by American Airlines who flew in Mr. Bin Hidin's specialist demolition team.

Mr. Osama then went into the leisure trade offering Time Share Caves in the Tora Bora region after moving from his residency in Kabul. The US assisted him in the construction of the caves by providing Daisy Cutter Ground Levelling equipment that was air dropped in by B52's.

His Opium business is thriving and his company Poppy's R Us is listed on the New York Stock Exchange and supplies most of the civilised world using a vast network of salespeople.

A spokesman for Osama Oil Inc. said "The infidels of the West will pay for this. Rivers of Black Blood will flow in the streets of their Cities for about $55 per barrel."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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